The first month of the New Year is over! Already!! Since my actual work has started from this month, I didn’t even realize how the time flew.
Extraordinary events happened, during the month. Some major decisions too..
1. New year started with a late morning
2. New Year started with me and S spending the entire day together!!
3. I have decided to take up the concern of reducing my weight (well, not acted on that much, but atleast I can say that my weight hasn’t increased!! *relief*
4. Since my aide is not coming to work, the quality of my chapatis has gone up tremendously cauz of the practice I am getting. And, my speed is increasing too!!
5. I have started blogging regularly
6. Competed reading around 4 books (yeah.. all fiction)
7. Didn’t see many movies…
8. Respected someone so much that decided to sacrifice some of my interests for the sake of their satisfaction
The negative side
1. (1) I had decided to wake up early in the morning on the first day of the New Year and do something good. But…………
2. (2) Didn’t do anything much about my weight!!
3. (4) MY AIDE IS NOT COMING TO WORK!!!!!! (Sigh!)
4. (6) Didn’t read anything else than fiction.. not even the newspaper!
5. (8) I ended up getting almost hanged in the process, sacrificing a lot of things… as for the respect, its all gone down the drain!
6. Even the last trail of a sometimeimportantperson was deleted... from my phone book, from my mail book and trying, even possibly from my brain..
anyways, a new beginning now, a new month, and some new targets... lets see how successful i am in them this time...
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Insomnia...
It is strange, that i am gripped with insomnia for the first time in my life. I am having trouble getting a continuous deep sleep and when i finally fall asleep, i am having trouble with the dreams i am having. yesterday i dreamt that 3 people whom i am close to in life left me forever... i woke up with a shiver, only to realise that this was a dream afterall and i was safe with S sleeping peacefully beside me.
Unlike most of dreams, i can remember this one quite clearly and even the thought of it makes me tremble.
How do i interpret this dream? How do i relate this with the happenings in my life? Probably the fear of losing S and the fear of being alone has come like a dark blanket enveloping me in the dreadful darkness and I am afraid of the darkness for the first time in my life.
and this is all because of the choices i have made in the past...
learn from it EM! thats the sole part that is left in my hands...
Unlike most of dreams, i can remember this one quite clearly and even the thought of it makes me tremble.
How do i interpret this dream? How do i relate this with the happenings in my life? Probably the fear of losing S and the fear of being alone has come like a dark blanket enveloping me in the dreadful darkness and I am afraid of the darkness for the first time in my life.
and this is all because of the choices i have made in the past...
learn from it EM! thats the sole part that is left in my hands...
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Writing..
writing, now a days has started becoming a necessity. with no friends to talk to, no one to share......
but for heavens sake, i can as well share my feelings with everyone!
unfortunately most of my friends are not 'regular' net surfers! but anyways, as long as i get to speak what i want to speak, i am alright with it.
today morning i received a message from a friend -
'there is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is 'attitude' and the big difference is made by the fact whether it is positive or negative!!'
attitude is all that matters! your way to look at the things at hand, your way to react to situations, your thinking, patience, understanding, everything depends on your attitude. you might as well make a hell of the situation or as well try to create a heaven out of it.. its all your attitude. and all that is a matter of choice. attitude of a person cannot be positive or negative by birth. it is what it is because of the choices we make. every situation in life, every problem, every action we intend to take, we always have a choice. nothing is mandatory. and these choices you make during your life time, make up your attitude.
many a times you are told to leave the past behind, not to bother about it, just look ahead. but i like to look at the past. i like to see what the choices i have made, for these are the only choices where i can get to know the consequences! i like to look behind to learn from it, only to make my way ahead secure and successful.
its personal way of looking at things though.. anyways, i got to go, loads of work to catch up.. but will be back soon..
till then...
but for heavens sake, i can as well share my feelings with everyone!
unfortunately most of my friends are not 'regular' net surfers! but anyways, as long as i get to speak what i want to speak, i am alright with it.
today morning i received a message from a friend -
'there is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is 'attitude' and the big difference is made by the fact whether it is positive or negative!!'
attitude is all that matters! your way to look at the things at hand, your way to react to situations, your thinking, patience, understanding, everything depends on your attitude. you might as well make a hell of the situation or as well try to create a heaven out of it.. its all your attitude. and all that is a matter of choice. attitude of a person cannot be positive or negative by birth. it is what it is because of the choices we make. every situation in life, every problem, every action we intend to take, we always have a choice. nothing is mandatory. and these choices you make during your life time, make up your attitude.
many a times you are told to leave the past behind, not to bother about it, just look ahead. but i like to look at the past. i like to see what the choices i have made, for these are the only choices where i can get to know the consequences! i like to look behind to learn from it, only to make my way ahead secure and successful.
its personal way of looking at things though.. anyways, i got to go, loads of work to catch up.. but will be back soon..
till then...
Monday, January 28, 2008
Life in wonderful.......
Face your past without regret.
Handle your present with confidence.
Prepare for the future without fear.
Keep faith and drop the fear.
Don't believe your doubts and never doubt your beliefs.
Life is wonderful if you know how to live it.
Handle your present with confidence.
Prepare for the future without fear.
Keep faith and drop the fear.
Don't believe your doubts and never doubt your beliefs.
Life is wonderful if you know how to live it.
Master of the game...!
‘Master of the game’ a book by the legendary Sidney Sheldon. A book spanning over 4 generations of a family from 1883 to 1982, the head of which struck it rich beyond his wildest dreams.
Jamie McGregor, leaves his family, his country to go in search for diamonds to South Africa. He is deceived, almost killed in his conquest. But he is determined. Determined to be successful in the search he has come for and to destroy the man who deceived him. He succeeds.
His business intellect at a young age, his planning, and the courage to take risks to fulfill his wishes is beautifully described. Jamie is caught in emotional turmoil to be close with his son, whose mother, Margaret, he hated because she was the daughter of the man who almost killed Jamie. Unfortunately, his son is killed at age seven. And that was the end of the world to Jamie. He dies soon after.
Jamie, passes on his qualities to his daughter Kate, whom he had hardly seen or adored. Kate is raised by Margaret, who also leaves Kate when she is aged 14. Kate is a brilliant girl who goes on to learn in a business school and takes charge of the family business and expands it beyond anyones imagination. She builds an empire, spawned by naked ambition.
The story revolves around Kate. A wife, a mother, a grandmother and most importantly a business women, Kate is seen in all the roles she plays in life only for one soul purpose, to expand ‘Kruger Brent Ltd.’, her family business.
A life of blackmail, deceit, murder, money and power. And the master of this game, Kate Blackwell.
A once to read book!
Jamie McGregor, leaves his family, his country to go in search for diamonds to South Africa. He is deceived, almost killed in his conquest. But he is determined. Determined to be successful in the search he has come for and to destroy the man who deceived him. He succeeds.
His business intellect at a young age, his planning, and the courage to take risks to fulfill his wishes is beautifully described. Jamie is caught in emotional turmoil to be close with his son, whose mother, Margaret, he hated because she was the daughter of the man who almost killed Jamie. Unfortunately, his son is killed at age seven. And that was the end of the world to Jamie. He dies soon after.
Jamie, passes on his qualities to his daughter Kate, whom he had hardly seen or adored. Kate is raised by Margaret, who also leaves Kate when she is aged 14. Kate is a brilliant girl who goes on to learn in a business school and takes charge of the family business and expands it beyond anyones imagination. She builds an empire, spawned by naked ambition.
The story revolves around Kate. A wife, a mother, a grandmother and most importantly a business women, Kate is seen in all the roles she plays in life only for one soul purpose, to expand ‘Kruger Brent Ltd.’, her family business.
A life of blackmail, deceit, murder, money and power. And the master of this game, Kate Blackwell.
A once to read book!
Jab we met...
I saw the movie yesterday.. jab we met... but unfortunately i didnt find it that lovely all the people did. definitely not a 4.5 * movie. or may be just because i saw it on TV with a thousand advertisements and all the halla going at my place of my FIL and S because of which i was not able to concentrate.
But, truthfully, the movie is very predictable. You actually know what is going to happen next. But one thing to appreciate that movie has no unnecessary villans and totally non-required twists n turns.
it is a simple movie. but with getting used to watching films like OSO, i guess it appears too simple.
The songs are a beauty. for a change, i liked Kareena Kapoor. And Shahid is of course, wonderful!!
But in the end, you have something to take away from the movie. The attitude. The attitude with which Geet (Kareena) lives her life. The attitude which helps Aditya (Shahid) transform his own life. The attitude not to give up and to follow your heart when there is nothing else to guide you. That, is well emphasized on.
I say, a one time watch, but w/o any commercial breaks.
But, truthfully, the movie is very predictable. You actually know what is going to happen next. But one thing to appreciate that movie has no unnecessary villans and totally non-required twists n turns.
it is a simple movie. but with getting used to watching films like OSO, i guess it appears too simple.
The songs are a beauty. for a change, i liked Kareena Kapoor. And Shahid is of course, wonderful!!
But in the end, you have something to take away from the movie. The attitude. The attitude with which Geet (Kareena) lives her life. The attitude which helps Aditya (Shahid) transform his own life. The attitude not to give up and to follow your heart when there is nothing else to guide you. That, is well emphasized on.
I say, a one time watch, but w/o any commercial breaks.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Just not good enough……
Just not good enough...
I was perplexed when someone wrote this to me. The reason, XB thought I hadn’t completed my ground work. Where, in fact I had. And I had much more information than required for just a ‘ground work’.
I felt bad. I felt angry. I felt betrayed by myself. Though B has not commented on this topic, still I am not really comfortable with the situation at hand. I am new. But not that naïve.
Anyways, just felt like writing this to create a channel to let out my emotions.
Probably in normal circumstances, I would not have felt this bad.
I was perplexed when someone wrote this to me. The reason, XB thought I hadn’t completed my ground work. Where, in fact I had. And I had much more information than required for just a ‘ground work’.
I felt bad. I felt angry. I felt betrayed by myself. Though B has not commented on this topic, still I am not really comfortable with the situation at hand. I am new. But not that naïve.
Anyways, just felt like writing this to create a channel to let out my emotions.
Probably in normal circumstances, I would not have felt this bad.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Changes..
Change is a big enemy. And change is constant. Loads of things changed in the past few days. and the biggest change was the change in me.
On the office front, i am now really starting to get into my role. I have started handling some of the things independently. Although, still quite sometimes i require some assistance. But, most importantly i like what i do! which i am not sure i would have been able to say at my earlier workplaces. i was a bit apprehensive in the beginning, but now all that is past.
on the personal front, the issue that had been cropped up, finally came to an end. though not the way the adversary had promised. i am amazed looking at the change of decision because of one action of mine. well, useless had already told me it would happen this way. next time onwards, instead of guessing anything, i will just ask useless!! ;) hehehe.
on the home front, my freedom ended a day in advance. and as my aide is not coming to work, i am just breaking my back after going home (and my patience too!) doing all the household things which otherwise i wouldnt even touch!
Even S was having some issues at office which fortunately now are in hand.
All in all, things getting back on track.
As for the change in me, i shall write sometime later. i would require a lot of time to think and frame the sentences even to express how i feel at the moment.
till then...
On the office front, i am now really starting to get into my role. I have started handling some of the things independently. Although, still quite sometimes i require some assistance. But, most importantly i like what i do! which i am not sure i would have been able to say at my earlier workplaces. i was a bit apprehensive in the beginning, but now all that is past.
on the personal front, the issue that had been cropped up, finally came to an end. though not the way the adversary had promised. i am amazed looking at the change of decision because of one action of mine. well, useless had already told me it would happen this way. next time onwards, instead of guessing anything, i will just ask useless!! ;) hehehe.
on the home front, my freedom ended a day in advance. and as my aide is not coming to work, i am just breaking my back after going home (and my patience too!) doing all the household things which otherwise i wouldnt even touch!
Even S was having some issues at office which fortunately now are in hand.
All in all, things getting back on track.
As for the change in me, i shall write sometime later. i would require a lot of time to think and frame the sentences even to express how i feel at the moment.
till then...
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Friday, January 18, 2008
Silence...
Silence...
My biggest quality and the worst weakness. I have always tried to eat up my problems, not sharing them with anyone. I have always listened patiently to all people.. always, first listened, and then said only if utterly necessary. One of my characteristic for which i have always been praised for. Still, i believe, i am not even 20% patient of what S is.
And today, because of our silence, we have landed up in a situation where i have limited choices, where i do not know what actions i need to take. Where i cannot predict the outcome.
But now, the time has come, where the silence needs to be broken. And it will be broken.
The only way to secure peace, is to prepare for a war.. and i have to prepare for one....
My biggest quality and the worst weakness. I have always tried to eat up my problems, not sharing them with anyone. I have always listened patiently to all people.. always, first listened, and then said only if utterly necessary. One of my characteristic for which i have always been praised for. Still, i believe, i am not even 20% patient of what S is.
And today, because of our silence, we have landed up in a situation where i have limited choices, where i do not know what actions i need to take. Where i cannot predict the outcome.
But now, the time has come, where the silence needs to be broken. And it will be broken.
The only way to secure peace, is to prepare for a war.. and i have to prepare for one....
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