A lot of things progressed. I made the statement in by earlier post that there is no use talking to my boss about the issues I was facing. But I decided to take the chance anyways. He said he was genuinely concerned that this was not discussed with me b4 and that I should not worry and I will be given a lot of support thru out. WOW! Man, I was relieved only to realize that I am now completely submerged under the sea of work. Earlier to getting this new responsibility I was just able to keep my nose out and breathe. I was okay with it anyways because it was keeping me so busy the entire day. But now, its horrible. I plan it to make it terrific. So expecting the outcome to be horribly terrific……
Okay.. I am not drunk. And I know I am not making any sense to anyone in any way. But it does not matter. I achieved what I wanted. I made the message understood and sink in my head. Its time I learn to swim……
I had been to training for the last week. Against my wishes, I enjoyed the training. A lot.. I enjoyed the stay in the city which I have hated for my entire life. I enjoyed the company of the 8 unknown people who came from a varied experience. I enjoyed the company of a retired colonel who has fought almost all the major wars for this country. WOW! It was one experience.
A beautiful, mesmerizing, knowledge parting experience which I will not forget for a long time.
And from tomorrow I start office again. It is weird going back after such a long time. It feels like you have missed out on a lot of things and now you have to cope up with so much. There have been a lot of things happening in the office in the past week. And now I am brand new to the changes. First day is going to be a hell of an activity sorting things out.
Lets see how it turns out…
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Saturday, June 14, 2008
In good times..... and in bad times.....
Things have been moving so fast. things have been hectic leaving hardly any time for me to stop and think. life is so full without any time for myself.
Lots happening. some favourable and some un-favourable too.
I was partly incharge of one audit which was to happen in our company. Preparations were made well. and the audit sailed off beautifully with the prodigious skill of one of my collegues (who was actually incharge of the audit this time). the same night, we (me kay and SS) went to the factory in the 3rd shift to check if all the facilities of house keeping and security were okay. I was amazed that day of my ability to stay awake till 4 in the morning!!
the visit went good, though i thought, that the people were expecting us. there was not even a single element of surprise on their face when they saw two females enter the production floor at 3.00 a.m. Well, atleast i was surprised by this attitude. I mean, its hardly seen in any factory where females are present on the shop floor in the wee hours of the morning! and needless to say, we did not find any obvious violations of the rules.
i sent out the report on tuesday. BB was very impressed by this initiative and he decided to show his appreciation (now we are proud owners of a 2 GB memory stick!) to the three of us.. me, kay and ES.
well, news travels fast.. specially these kinds of news where people who have 'recently' joined the organization are appreciated for such 'small' things.. people were pissed off. or i'd rather say, people ARE pissed off. and they do not mind showing it off either!
'now you know, there are a few 'special' 'favoured' people in the organization!'
'i never even got a single mail of appreciation inspite of all the things i have done here in the past 12 years!!'
'can you tell me (this question was posed directly to me and kay across the breakfast table) why were you given a gift?'
'i will ask him (BB) and tell you...' this was my reply. stupid as it may be, but i was shell shocked seeing these reactions and cudnt think of anything else!
'ab kya, hum log buddhe ho gaye.. humko appreciation ki jarurat nahi hai.. kitana bhi kaam karo! (now we are oldies.. we do not need any kind of appreciation even for the amount of work we put in)'
this came from the person who i least expected it from. she was a person who,i thought, looked over me as a daughter. she compared me with her kid and said we were so alike... but well, circumstances change.. people change.. dont they?
i didnt care what people talked. it was an important milestone for me. but destiny gave people chances to become more hostile towards me.
i was declared as the leader for one team (which was being actually headed by RI. but since he is leaving, i will fill in the post). this was not taken that good by the team members.
'aus ko kuch malum hai kya? abhi to aayi hai yahan pe... aise kaise declare kar diya? (does she know anything? she just joined here.. how come they declare her as the leader?)'
i was getting weary of the comments. i needed someone to talk to.. desperately.. and no one was available. i was sitting in the training and thinking.. hard.. what to do.. how am i supposed to tackle this? how am i supposed to tackle the people. discussing with my boss was going to be useless. i have 100% faith that he will not be able to help me out.
anger was welling up inside me... ready to burst out. it still is because i have not yet figured out a way.
in the middle of the week, i also got my confirmation letter. but the happiness of it died off in all the turmoil my mind was facing. in all the hostility i was facing.
after i got my letter.. everyone asked for the party.. everyone asked for the party of passing the audit which I was partly handling. i told my boss, loudly in front of everyone.. to which he replied.. 'ya, ya there is this one on 27th..' and he stopped... abruptly.. '27th..' barely audible...
first of all, i thought this was our pillar party... and that he might have messed up with the dates.
yesterday, while coming back, kay told me... there is the factory picnic on 27th and 28th...
then it hit me like a bullet.
i am in a course in mumbai from 22nd to 27th evening and i will not be able to go...
and my boss knew about this.. he knew about this both. he spelled it out... almost... but he realised that he should not let me know (as if i was not going to come to know) and he stopped....
i dont expect they change the date of the picnic for me. and i dont care that i miss one picnic.. its really not that big a deal.. but i definitely expected my boss to be straight forward. he kept this from me....
now i realise why everyone says he is not a 'peoples man'...
it hurt me... for having a boss who doesnt want things to keep transparent enough. inspite of the fact that i am straight forward with him. it hurt me for having one un-considerate boss who actually goes on to deny me one secure id (which will actually help me work from home) because it will 'cost' to our cost center. and because if he gives it to me, he will have to give it to the others too...
it hurt to have one boss who didnt even peek into the pillar preparations for one important audit because he had to take care of the pillar he was heading.
it hurt to have a boss who denied my request to call 4 extra people who helped in the pillar audits to be called for the party... just because it wud cost...
i dont say that he is cruel or something.. he is definitely considerate and gives me my freedom to work the way i want.. but at such times, the 'not so good' things just come into focus...
it hurt and hurt and hurt....
i wish to spend my weekend lazing around.. but i have to study.. to prepare for the course i am supposed to attend a week later....
Lots happening. some favourable and some un-favourable too.
I was partly incharge of one audit which was to happen in our company. Preparations were made well. and the audit sailed off beautifully with the prodigious skill of one of my collegues (who was actually incharge of the audit this time). the same night, we (me kay and SS) went to the factory in the 3rd shift to check if all the facilities of house keeping and security were okay. I was amazed that day of my ability to stay awake till 4 in the morning!!
the visit went good, though i thought, that the people were expecting us. there was not even a single element of surprise on their face when they saw two females enter the production floor at 3.00 a.m. Well, atleast i was surprised by this attitude. I mean, its hardly seen in any factory where females are present on the shop floor in the wee hours of the morning! and needless to say, we did not find any obvious violations of the rules.
i sent out the report on tuesday. BB was very impressed by this initiative and he decided to show his appreciation (now we are proud owners of a 2 GB memory stick!) to the three of us.. me, kay and ES.
well, news travels fast.. specially these kinds of news where people who have 'recently' joined the organization are appreciated for such 'small' things.. people were pissed off. or i'd rather say, people ARE pissed off. and they do not mind showing it off either!
'now you know, there are a few 'special' 'favoured' people in the organization!'
'i never even got a single mail of appreciation inspite of all the things i have done here in the past 12 years!!'
'can you tell me (this question was posed directly to me and kay across the breakfast table) why were you given a gift?'
'i will ask him (BB) and tell you...' this was my reply. stupid as it may be, but i was shell shocked seeing these reactions and cudnt think of anything else!
'ab kya, hum log buddhe ho gaye.. humko appreciation ki jarurat nahi hai.. kitana bhi kaam karo! (now we are oldies.. we do not need any kind of appreciation even for the amount of work we put in)'
this came from the person who i least expected it from. she was a person who,i thought, looked over me as a daughter. she compared me with her kid and said we were so alike... but well, circumstances change.. people change.. dont they?
i didnt care what people talked. it was an important milestone for me. but destiny gave people chances to become more hostile towards me.
i was declared as the leader for one team (which was being actually headed by RI. but since he is leaving, i will fill in the post). this was not taken that good by the team members.
'aus ko kuch malum hai kya? abhi to aayi hai yahan pe... aise kaise declare kar diya? (does she know anything? she just joined here.. how come they declare her as the leader?)'
i was getting weary of the comments. i needed someone to talk to.. desperately.. and no one was available. i was sitting in the training and thinking.. hard.. what to do.. how am i supposed to tackle this? how am i supposed to tackle the people. discussing with my boss was going to be useless. i have 100% faith that he will not be able to help me out.
anger was welling up inside me... ready to burst out. it still is because i have not yet figured out a way.
in the middle of the week, i also got my confirmation letter. but the happiness of it died off in all the turmoil my mind was facing. in all the hostility i was facing.
after i got my letter.. everyone asked for the party.. everyone asked for the party of passing the audit which I was partly handling. i told my boss, loudly in front of everyone.. to which he replied.. 'ya, ya there is this one on 27th..' and he stopped... abruptly.. '27th..' barely audible...
first of all, i thought this was our pillar party... and that he might have messed up with the dates.
yesterday, while coming back, kay told me... there is the factory picnic on 27th and 28th...
then it hit me like a bullet.
i am in a course in mumbai from 22nd to 27th evening and i will not be able to go...
and my boss knew about this.. he knew about this both. he spelled it out... almost... but he realised that he should not let me know (as if i was not going to come to know) and he stopped....
i dont expect they change the date of the picnic for me. and i dont care that i miss one picnic.. its really not that big a deal.. but i definitely expected my boss to be straight forward. he kept this from me....
now i realise why everyone says he is not a 'peoples man'...
it hurt me... for having a boss who doesnt want things to keep transparent enough. inspite of the fact that i am straight forward with him. it hurt me for having one un-considerate boss who actually goes on to deny me one secure id (which will actually help me work from home) because it will 'cost' to our cost center. and because if he gives it to me, he will have to give it to the others too...
it hurt to have one boss who didnt even peek into the pillar preparations for one important audit because he had to take care of the pillar he was heading.
it hurt to have a boss who denied my request to call 4 extra people who helped in the pillar audits to be called for the party... just because it wud cost...
i dont say that he is cruel or something.. he is definitely considerate and gives me my freedom to work the way i want.. but at such times, the 'not so good' things just come into focus...
it hurt and hurt and hurt....
i wish to spend my weekend lazing around.. but i have to study.. to prepare for the course i am supposed to attend a week later....
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