During my irregular being on the blogosphere, a new years post has always made its way through. The year 2008.
it was good. there were many things that happened in this year. good and bad, as always. i started my career with the new company and the growth i have made in this year was much more than i made 3 years combined in my previous years. with that came egos of my collegues. it was a tough time. it is tough rather because the egos still remain. its pathetic to the core. i cannot understand the mentality and dont wish to either. if people are having ego problems, its their problem altogether. not mine!
still i say that professionally it has been really good because i am getting the entire support the management has to offer. they are fully aware of the problems that i am facing. nothings really being done about it, thats a different story. but still, they are aware and i hope they will have some thing in place to tackle this.
i made a new friend who is now very close to me. our families have also bonded quite well. S and her husband get along just great despite the age difference they have. along with friends i made foes as well who were absolutely not happy with the kind of attention and appreciation i was getting. well again, their problem. not mine!
Home front, its going excellent except for the fact that..................... anyways,
but we are doing great. there is a new phase in our relationship which is much stronger, much deeper than it ever was. we have fallen head over heels in love with each other all over again. it feels wonderful. that leaves worries at bay and all we look forward to is spending some more time with each other. its just great.
Anyways,
two new years resolution is to save as much money as possible and to make our lives financially very very very secure.........
and to stay happy no matter what happens in life...
Wish you all a very happy and prosperous new year!!
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Monday, December 29, 2008
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Home....
Loud TV, people raising their voice on top of the TV to get heard, but don't turn the volume down. either of the two people constantly occupying the sofa. the sofa being covered with strange colored cloth, news papers strewn everywhere... welcome to the house where i live. i don't call it my house because it is not my house. it is my in-laws house. and it is far from being called a home. evening doesn't bring the joy of going back to where i belong, because the feeling of belonging itself is absent. an incentive to return back is just that i would be with S.
things are planned ahead. things which S wants to happen desperately and is very adamant on. just today morning i heard a conversation of his parents and that made me feel so bad. if u have to see profit making parents, i can give the perfect example. business extended to family as well. with this realization came a resolute. a firm resolution for which i have to work. hard.
the thinking loop began and again i prodded my past to give me the answers of why i was so foolish back then and didnt do the things i should have done first given my background. for example, buying a house. i didnt do it then because i was so foolish (i cannot find any other reason). and i cant do that now because the prices are now out of my reach. had we done some systematic investment then, we would have been in a very comfortable situation now considering S's plans ahead. well, these are mistakes which are surfacing in front of me and telling me what a big fool i was, rather i am. Just thinking about all these things, i felt a knot in my stomach which is definitely fear. i am scared. of the things that lie ahead. scared of how we are going to manage. i hope it works out.
pray for me. for us.
things are planned ahead. things which S wants to happen desperately and is very adamant on. just today morning i heard a conversation of his parents and that made me feel so bad. if u have to see profit making parents, i can give the perfect example. business extended to family as well. with this realization came a resolute. a firm resolution for which i have to work. hard.
the thinking loop began and again i prodded my past to give me the answers of why i was so foolish back then and didnt do the things i should have done first given my background. for example, buying a house. i didnt do it then because i was so foolish (i cannot find any other reason). and i cant do that now because the prices are now out of my reach. had we done some systematic investment then, we would have been in a very comfortable situation now considering S's plans ahead. well, these are mistakes which are surfacing in front of me and telling me what a big fool i was, rather i am. Just thinking about all these things, i felt a knot in my stomach which is definitely fear. i am scared. of the things that lie ahead. scared of how we are going to manage. i hope it works out.
pray for me. for us.
Saturday, December 06, 2008
Known Turf: The incomprehensible and the uncomprehending
All with the same thoughts...
with all the chaos, the panic, the anger, the frustration, the tears.... a voice within agrees with what Annie has to say... 'The incomprehensible and the uncomprehending!'
Known Turf: The incomprehensible and the uncomprehending
with all the chaos, the panic, the anger, the frustration, the tears.... a voice within agrees with what Annie has to say... 'The incomprehensible and the uncomprehending!'
Known Turf: The incomprehensible and the uncomprehending
Thursday, December 04, 2008
Quarter Life Analysis...
I had posted this content which i recd from an email in the year 2006. It was incomplete.. and now the complete version follows -
The Quarter Life Analysis.................
It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like.You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the
greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is
that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.
Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute,
you are insecure and then the next, secure.
You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay
where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you're doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. You want to settle down for good because now all of a sudden that becomes top priority. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.You begin to think a companion for life is better than a hundred in the shack and for once you would not mind standing tall for that special someone which otherwise you had never thought of until now.You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!
What you may not realize is that every one reading this relates to it.We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. Send this to your twenty-something friends.... maybe it will help someone feel like they aren't alone in
their state of confusion...
We call it the "Quarter-life Crisis"
The Quarter Life Analysis.................
It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like.You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the
greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is
that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.
Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute,
you are insecure and then the next, secure.
You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay
where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you're doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. You want to settle down for good because now all of a sudden that becomes top priority. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.You begin to think a companion for life is better than a hundred in the shack and for once you would not mind standing tall for that special someone which otherwise you had never thought of until now.You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!
What you may not realize is that every one reading this relates to it.We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. Send this to your twenty-something friends.... maybe it will help someone feel like they aren't alone in
their state of confusion...
We call it the "Quarter-life Crisis"
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