The world is waiting for you.....

Do not be afraid to shine.
The world needs what you have to give.
Open up the areas of your being;
Expose them to yourself - to others.
You are valuable. You are unique.
You have much to give.
Do not be afraid to give it.

As we risk ourselves, we grow.
Each new experience is a risk.
We can try, and maybe fail,
And, as a result, grow or hold back and stagnate.

You have the potential to be anything you want.
You are free to choose.
You are limited only by your fears.
Let your dreams take over.
Fly with the eagles. Soar into life.
The world is waiting for you.

--Pravs World

my husbands new wife!

Well, yes he has a new wife of which (its a thing) he takes more care than anyone (anything) else right now. his camera! (and i insisted on buying that one..!) he has gone absolutely crazy with that thing. on holidays he gets up at 5.00 a.m. and goes places to shoot birds (the real birds... i hope :D). the first time he went, i thought as usual this might be the only time. from next weekend, he would be back to sleeping till 8.00 a.m. most of the people who know him well will agree to it. he never even slogged so much for his engineering studies!! but, for a change, he proved me absolutely wrong! he went again and again every weekend, till finally i was tired of his leaving the house early in the morning and not returning till noon! this weekend was the same. he said he is going to a nearby place about 30 kms away to get some shots and he travelled 200 kms on a ruddy bike on the roads of Maharashtra just to catch some flemingoes. i was fuming by the time i met him. i have never been so angry with him ever.
was it required? i asked myself. but today also i would say, yes, it was required. having a passion is not wrong, but forgetting your responsibilities to pursue the passion is definitely not acceptable. not to me.
i am very sure that the next weekend he is still going to go early in the morning and returning by noon, but with the threats i have given him, he wont dare to travel dangerous distances on bike! (i hope so.....)
well, apart from everything else, his photography thing is really coming out well. for an amatuer, his skills are extremely well developed.. posting some of the best shots he's taken (which i liked the most) till date...
watch out for more in the coming posts!!

Sleep

i have got this bad habit of sleeping in the afternoon on weekends and then when i turn up in the office on monday, (well in this case tuesday) i feel very drowsy after lunch, ready to drop anytime..
my boss is out of station and so is one of my collegue. i have a presentation to make tomorrow which i didnt get a chance to discuss with my boss (he didnt seem interested that i have to present it in front of the entire management team). so now i have discussed it with two people who have given me their inputs which are actually similar and involve me of showing the data which i currently do not have. it was the responsibility of one of my colleague which he did not do and is now travelling... conviniently!!
i was just thinking about the people who do the routine work (for example even consider a typist) and feel jealous some how. They do not have to tackle issues of cost reduction and bully their brains into doing some automization where they would use less ink but the output quality would not be affected!!!!! oh lord! i am just so tired. if i ask for a good nights sleep without any worries, is it a crime???
i guess it is.. for the amount of money i am getting paid, i ofcourse have to sacrifice a good nights sleep and think of the issues i have at hand. and i am sitting in my office and writing a blog for gods sake when i have piles and piles of work still pending! shame on me!!!!!!!!!!
so now, after this most abrupt post of my life, i am getting back to work!
adieu!

Just spit it out..............!

Thats what i told myself when i was unable to concentrate on anything. it was better to just spit out what i was thinking. there are a lot of things that are happening, some good news, some major decisions we have taken. but that has to wait for now.
again the issue is at the house where i am staying. i want to desparately get out of there and find a place which i can call home! S is understanding but is not able to think how to get out of there without causing a rift. I just say one thing. it is better we move out now and maintain what ever relations are there or we stay there and move out once we have reached such a level where the relations have entirely gone down the drain (they are almost on their way!!)
somehow he is not yet comfortable with the idea. but sooner or later we have to come in terms with the reality. even if i have spend a lot of money for the sake of having peace when i return home, i will spend it. because peace and satisfaction form the most important things i now need in life.
apart from the home issues, the office somehow is not that attractive an affair any more. it is getting a monotony (which is there in my hands to break completely) and i feel drained right in the morning. i am not getting enough sleep nor am i feeling energetic thruout the day. of course i know the reasons. and i need to work on them rather than sitting here and rant about it. its just that i dont know where to start. well, when i am fuming, angry, disturbed, there is one thing that i always do - i clean things, be it cupboards, the house in general, i just sort out the mess. though that doesnt really help sorting out the mess in my life, i atleast have the satisfaction of having control over 'some' mess around me.
so this weekend is going to be a cleaning sangraam. i am planning to throw 50% of the things out of that house. and i know that there is going to be a tirade over it from my in-laws. but thats predicted.
so i will now get back next week with some things which are on a happier note. and i hope by that time i am feeling better as well.
ciao.

New year....

During my irregular being on the blogosphere, a new years post has always made its way through. The year 2008.
it was good. there were many things that happened in this year. good and bad, as always. i started my career with the new company and the growth i have made in this year was much more than i made 3 years combined in my previous years. with that came egos of my collegues. it was a tough time. it is tough rather because the egos still remain. its pathetic to the core. i cannot understand the mentality and dont wish to either. if people are having ego problems, its their problem altogether. not mine!
still i say that professionally it has been really good because i am getting the entire support the management has to offer. they are fully aware of the problems that i am facing. nothings really being done about it, thats a different story. but still, they are aware and i hope they will have some thing in place to tackle this.
i made a new friend who is now very close to me. our families have also bonded quite well. S and her husband get along just great despite the age difference they have. along with friends i made foes as well who were absolutely not happy with the kind of attention and appreciation i was getting. well again, their problem. not mine!
Home front, its going excellent except for the fact that..................... anyways,
but we are doing great. there is a new phase in our relationship which is much stronger, much deeper than it ever was. we have fallen head over heels in love with each other all over again. it feels wonderful. that leaves worries at bay and all we look forward to is spending some more time with each other. its just great.
Anyways,
two new years resolution is to save as much money as possible and to make our lives financially very very very secure.........
and to stay happy no matter what happens in life...
Wish you all a very happy and prosperous new year!!

The year that lies ahead....

Home....

Loud TV, people raising their voice on top of the TV to get heard, but don't turn the volume down. either of the two people constantly occupying the sofa. the sofa being covered with strange colored cloth, news papers strewn everywhere... welcome to the house where i live. i don't call it my house because it is not my house. it is my in-laws house. and it is far from being called a home. evening doesn't bring the joy of going back to where i belong, because the feeling of belonging itself is absent. an incentive to return back is just that i would be with S.
things are planned ahead. things which S wants to happen desperately and is very adamant on. just today morning i heard a conversation of his parents and that made me feel so bad. if u have to see profit making parents, i can give the perfect example. business extended to family as well. with this realization came a resolute. a firm resolution for which i have to work. hard.
the thinking loop began and again i prodded my past to give me the answers of why i was so foolish back then and didnt do the things i should have done first given my background. for example, buying a house. i didnt do it then because i was so foolish (i cannot find any other reason). and i cant do that now because the prices are now out of my reach. had we done some systematic investment then, we would have been in a very comfortable situation now considering S's plans ahead. well, these are mistakes which are surfacing in front of me and telling me what a big fool i was, rather i am. Just thinking about all these things, i felt a knot in my stomach which is definitely fear. i am scared. of the things that lie ahead. scared of how we are going to manage. i hope it works out.
pray for me. for us.

Known Turf: The incomprehensible and the uncomprehending

All with the same thoughts...
with all the chaos, the panic, the anger, the frustration, the tears.... a voice within agrees with what Annie has to say... 'The incomprehensible and the uncomprehending!'

Known Turf: The incomprehensible and the uncomprehending

Quarter Life Analysis...

I had posted this content which i recd from an email in the year 2006. It was incomplete.. and now the complete version follows -

The Quarter Life Analysis.................

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like.You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the
greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is
that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute,
you are insecure and then the next, secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay
where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you're doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. You want to settle down for good because now all of a sudden that becomes top priority. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.You begin to think a companion for life is better than a hundred in the shack and for once you would not mind standing tall for that special someone which otherwise you had never thought of until now.You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that every one reading this relates to it.We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. Send this to your twenty-something friends.... maybe it will help someone feel like they aren't alone in
their state of confusion...

We call it the "Quarter-life Crisis"