Life @ Home...

its been 2 months now that i am not going to work. first 3 weeks were a whirlwind because i was not well and the first week i was in a hospital in terrible pain. i just wished that i were dead. ofcourse, the pain was not so much, it is just that my tolerance to the pain is very low and the emotional outbursts in my head made it impossible for me to be in peace.
i gradually regained control of self which i dont know how i had lost. i couldnt have done so ofcourse if the husband had not been there with me, throughout.
i am back in my in-laws house now. will be going back to my mom's house in a month and halfs time. and will stay there for 2 months atleast. The husband will also be shifting with me. so this house will be locked.
yesterday had a gossip session with my MIL (things are better between us is what she thinks, but i alone know the whole truth!). well, she confessed that she will never be able to live with her elder son and daughter in law. they have been horrible to them. well then, how can we live with you? i said to myself.
i could have said that aloud, but i didnt want to interrupt my 'with much difficulty' achieved peace of mind. so i kept quite.. and well, they would be nice to us now seeing what was the result of their behavior with me, and considering the fact that they have no choice but to stay with us.
i had been to a fortune reader once. he was able to tell my past perfectly just be seeing my birth date and my thumb impression. so i believe, that atleast 50% of the things he has told me about my future would be true! he had said that things will not be going great between the parents in-law and the brother in-law. The husband did not believe this at all. ''Impossible'. this is all going to be crap' he had said.
But crap it was not intended to be. things started materializing in front of us, screaming the truth out. things were definitely not going well between the two of them. The husband was left with no choice but to believe!
well, getting to the point, he had also said that you will have to take care of your in-laws. do i believe it? do i act on it already? what do i do? a question that will be laid to rest in time, i suppose. and so be it..
yesterday i had a surprise person visit my house. it feels really great for some person to care so much for you, when infact they are actually not so related to you. the big bosses wife had come to give me 'Jeffery Archer' books to read! well i had just casually mentioned last week that i have exhausted my entire stock already (having read most of the books 3 times by now!). so they just lent me some of their stock. cool na? i just admired the fact that they remembered this casual remark and acted on it. just to make my life more enjoyable. and i mean, i am just another person in the factory he heads! it was really heart touching. i hope i am also able to be so sensitive to other peoples needs.

Gone again for a long time

Yes, i have been away, again for a long time. there is a genuine reason. no, it was not work. it was my health. i was in a hospital for over a week (for the first time in my life.. well, there is always first time innit?) nothing serious. some minor complications which ofcourse may have been worsened if not taken care for..
but all is fine now. i am at home, resting, reading books, watching TV, getting irritated...... well... thats the integral part of me!
currently i am working from home for about a week cauz we have an upcoming audit.. then will take a complete break from office!
nothing much from my side as of now. i will try to be more regular here now that i have plenty of free time!
till then!

The right to vote.

India is the biggest democracy! and it is said the biggest right is the right to vote. to chose the group of people who will be incharge of making rules for you, of imposing restrictions, of giving freedom. it is not a happy situation however for the mass of people who say that the democracy is not working the way it should. well unfortunately this mass of people who are ironically the educated class dont even go and cast their vote! well then how will the democracy function the way it should?
people living in rural areas go and vote in the hopes of having a government who will make right decisions for them. mind you, their hopes have not faltered over the years. they have faith. but the educated class just sits and cribs. once in 5 years you have a chance to cast a vote. once in 5 years your country is asking for your decision. and once in 5 years we dont have 15 mins to spare for ourself! its really sad.
I voted. and i felt happy that i am going to make a difference by one vote! However small it will be in a country with billions of people, it will still make a difference! when i was standing at the voting booth, i saw so many people come. young, middle aged, old. and i felt a rush of gratitude towards them who came, those who spent 15 minutes for their country.
Though we had only 45% voting in our constituency, i would still like to thank those 45% who took pride in excercising their primary right. the right to vote!

I am right here!

I almost gave in. I almost lost.
This day almost got to me.
Into the air my hands I tossed.

Almost walked away. Almost Cried.
Almost threw caution into the wind.
Happiness for myself, I almost denied

Almost... Then...
I felt a brush of love against my face.
Wings wrapped around me in a warm embrace.
I heard a whisper into my ear...

"Don't you ever give up, I'm right here."


~Pravs World~

back..

i am back. well, this time i hope to continue to write un-interrupted for a long time now. things at office were hectic but now that i have renounced upon the pillar leadership (with which my bosses are not happy) i am actually living with less stress and tension. i am finding time to think about my regular work and getting it completed on time as well (grin).
being a pillar leader was not bad actually. no one ever thrashed me for anything (being new in the company, being the youngest of the lot and ofcourse being a girl was the reason for that). infact it was more of a priviledge being a part of the STC - thats the steering committee of our company. yeah yeah, sounds great. but if no one's thrashing you doesnt mean you are relieved of all responsibilities. infact that gives more stress (at least to me) because then, your responsibility is higher.
nonco-operation from the team members was a major issue (well no points for guessing why there was nonco-operation in the first place) which took a toll in February 09 when i finally declared my state and told my boss that i cant continue like this and some actions need to be taken ASAP.
well, soon after our annual function of the company, the big boss called me and talked to me. the first ofcourse it was all 'congratulations, great news' etc (well i am refering to the news that i am pregnant!). and then came the question which was entirely unexpected. 'so whats your plan next?'.
Me: 'next? well i am planning to come till August 09 and then take the maternity leave'
BB: 'okay, and you are planning to join back right?'
Me: Baffled. i couldnt think of any way to answer that question. 'well ofcourse i am joining back. it is very clear with the husband and the family that i am going to continue working. (and if i dont, who's going to pay my car loan and what about my wish of having a place of my own???? this i asked myself, and said 'unless ofcourse you dont want me to join back!' which was again to myself!!)
BB: No, no, its just that we have to ask this question you know because we have to plan for your replacement. we had also asked SR (my colleague who is currently on maternity leave). its ofcourse good to hear that you are going to join back!(yeah.. good to hear this as well!)
So then, its officially out since feb end. and i am getting due services. its easier to get heard and get the work done. people in the office are really taking good care of me.
well, see the paradox. people at the place i dont want to call home, are least bothered. except the husband ofcourse.
i had hear that during pregnancy everyone tries to feed things you like and behaves the way is preferred to you and is nice to you and tries to keep you happy all the time. i was stupid enough to expect this from my in-laws. not even a flickr of smile on their faces when we told them the news!
and now they have started to paint the house. i am taking medicines so that i dont have a problem of dust allergy during pregnancy and my in-laws are taking full care that i do suffer from this problem.
well, its really annoying you know! so now the husband has finally agreed that we need to move out and we are planning to do so in the next couple of weeks. i am far away right now from being happy or anything. what i only feel is immense hatered for those two people who are totally unconcerned about their son and his child who is to be born in a few months time. well, i never expected them to be concerned about me so no complaints there! what they are just doing is taking me ahead to a path of severing relations with them forever.
The husband will obviously forgive everything within a couple of weeks time and be entirely himself again. but me? i am finding that to be increasingly difficult at the moment.
anyways, so on this bitter note, i am going to end my post. and i hope that from now on i do try to write more regularly.
(for all the confused souls, the husband=S=Sushil) *wink*

I have learned that...

I've Learned...
That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

I've Learned...
That when you're in love, it shows.

I've Learned...
That just one person saying to me, "You've made my day!" makes my day.

I've Learned...
That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

I've Learned...
That being kind is more important than being right.

I've Learned...
That you should never say no to a gift from a child.

I've Learned...
That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.

I've Learned...
That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

I've Learned...
That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

I've Learned...
That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

I've Learned...
That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I've Learned...
That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.

I've Learned...
That money doesn't buy class.

I've Learned...
That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I've Learned...
That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I've Learned...
That the Lord didn't do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?

I've Learned...
That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I've Learned...
That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.

I've Learned...
That love, not time, heals all wounds.

I've Learned...
That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.

I've Learned...
That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

I've Learned...
That there's nothing sweeter than sleeping with your babies and feeling their breath on your cheeks.

I've Learned...
That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

I've Learned...
That life is tough, but I'm tougher.

I've Learned...
That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

I've Learned...
That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

I've Learned...
That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her, one more time, before she passed away.

I've Learned...
That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I've Learned...
That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I've Learned...
That I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.

I've Learned...
That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.

I've Learned...
That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.

I've Learned...
That it is best to give advice in only two circumstances; when it is requested and when it is a life-threatening situation.

I've Learned...
That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.


~Words by Andy Rooney~

But not you!

Let others lead small lives, but not you.
Let others argue over small things, but not you.
Let others cry over small hurts, but not you.
Let others blame their sufferings on some one else, but not you.

Let others leave their future in someone else's hands,
But not you!

~Pravs World~ (With a small addition from me!!)

What life means today...

Earlier, life meant:
A winter evening, Four friends, Mild rain.., Four cups of coffee..

Earlier, life meant:
100 bucks for petrol, Two rusty old bikes.., An open road

Earlier, life meant:
Maggi noodles, A hostel room, 3.25 a.m.., Sharing food.. and love

Earlier, life meant:
Last minute exam preparations, One night, One book.., 8 duffers

Earlier, life meant:
One boy, One number, 4 friends.., And a fight :-)

Today life means:
Old friends, Separate cities, Separate lives.,
And endless efforts to earn money & get peace.

Today what you are looking in life..,
Is probably that you lost in your way here.

Remember old friends, old memories you shared,
Reconnect, rejoice!

~Pravs world~

tired..........

Again tired. i could do with about 48 straight hours of sleep....
but i have a lot of work load as well.. any takers (for the work load :P)????? hehehe...

Life...

She sits in the house peering out of her bedroom window.. holding a book in her hand which she is trying to read. but for the first time she is finding it difficult to concentrate on. her thoughts seem to leave the present and drift away to the past. the memories, all the bad one's come first. the mistakes, the repurcussions, the tensions, the hatred..... but along with that comes the realization of not being alone during that time. of her husband being there during the thick and thin. of fulfilling all the promisses he had made when getting married. of the support, of the understanding, of protecting her from whatever lies in front. then she forgets all the bad memories (for the time being of course) and her thoughts drift to all the time spent with her husband. the time spent before marriage, after marriage, the way their relationship evolved over the period. the ups, the downs, the moment when they had almost decided to break up. but somehow, they held on to the belief, the hope.
and then the thoughts drift over to the present. the newfound happiness in each other. the strength of the relationship and the support they give to the other without asking, without any hesitation, the trust that has increased 10-fold, the plans made for the life ahead of them, the life that they would bring in to this world... and a smile lits up her face... she feels happy, strangely calm and satisfied and her face glows, as if she is all lit up from inside.. she feels all lit up from inside... because there is a life within her...