Life...

She sits in the house peering out of her bedroom window.. holding a book in her hand which she is trying to read. but for the first time she is finding it difficult to concentrate on. her thoughts seem to leave the present and drift away to the past. the memories, all the bad one's come first. the mistakes, the repurcussions, the tensions, the hatred..... but along with that comes the realization of not being alone during that time. of her husband being there during the thick and thin. of fulfilling all the promisses he had made when getting married. of the support, of the understanding, of protecting her from whatever lies in front. then she forgets all the bad memories (for the time being of course) and her thoughts drift to all the time spent with her husband. the time spent before marriage, after marriage, the way their relationship evolved over the period. the ups, the downs, the moment when they had almost decided to break up. but somehow, they held on to the belief, the hope.
and then the thoughts drift over to the present. the newfound happiness in each other. the strength of the relationship and the support they give to the other without asking, without any hesitation, the trust that has increased 10-fold, the plans made for the life ahead of them, the life that they would bring in to this world... and a smile lits up her face... she feels happy, strangely calm and satisfied and her face glows, as if she is all lit up from inside.. she feels all lit up from inside... because there is a life within her...

The man who dares...

It is not the critic who counts;
not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled
or where the doer of deeps could have done them better.

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena;
whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood;
who errs and comes short again and again...
who knows the great enthusiasms,
the great devotions,
and spends himself in a worthy cause;
who at the least knows in the end
the triumph of high achievement;
and who, at the worst,
if he fails, at least fails while daring gently,
so that his place shall never be
with those cold and timid souls
who know neither victory nor defeat

~ Theodore Roosevelt ~

We choose how we live....

All men and women are born, live, suffer and die;
What distinguishes us one from another is our dreams.

Whether they be dreams about worldly or unworldly things,
and what we do to make them come about...
We do not choose to be born.
We do not choose our parents.

We do not choose our historical epoch, the country of our birth,
or the immediate circumstances of our upbringing.
We do not, most of us, choose to die;
nor do we choose the time and conditions of our death.

But within this realm of choicelessness,
We do choose how to live.

~ Joseph Epstein ~

Just tired....!

Being Happy....

Just a small good morning email i recd a couple of days back..
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Being happy doesnt mean everythings perfect, it means that you have decided to look beyond the imperfections....

Everything in life is temporary...
Darkness of the night or brightness of the day..
Even sunrise is temporary and so is sunset.
If things are good, enjoy it.. it wont last forever
And if things are going bad, dont worry, cauz it wont last forever either...!!
Everything just passes by....

The world is waiting for you.....

Do not be afraid to shine.
The world needs what you have to give.
Open up the areas of your being;
Expose them to yourself - to others.
You are valuable. You are unique.
You have much to give.
Do not be afraid to give it.

As we risk ourselves, we grow.
Each new experience is a risk.
We can try, and maybe fail,
And, as a result, grow or hold back and stagnate.

You have the potential to be anything you want.
You are free to choose.
You are limited only by your fears.
Let your dreams take over.
Fly with the eagles. Soar into life.
The world is waiting for you.

--Pravs World

my husbands new wife!

Well, yes he has a new wife of which (its a thing) he takes more care than anyone (anything) else right now. his camera! (and i insisted on buying that one..!) he has gone absolutely crazy with that thing. on holidays he gets up at 5.00 a.m. and goes places to shoot birds (the real birds... i hope :D). the first time he went, i thought as usual this might be the only time. from next weekend, he would be back to sleeping till 8.00 a.m. most of the people who know him well will agree to it. he never even slogged so much for his engineering studies!! but, for a change, he proved me absolutely wrong! he went again and again every weekend, till finally i was tired of his leaving the house early in the morning and not returning till noon! this weekend was the same. he said he is going to a nearby place about 30 kms away to get some shots and he travelled 200 kms on a ruddy bike on the roads of Maharashtra just to catch some flemingoes. i was fuming by the time i met him. i have never been so angry with him ever.
was it required? i asked myself. but today also i would say, yes, it was required. having a passion is not wrong, but forgetting your responsibilities to pursue the passion is definitely not acceptable. not to me.
i am very sure that the next weekend he is still going to go early in the morning and returning by noon, but with the threats i have given him, he wont dare to travel dangerous distances on bike! (i hope so.....)
well, apart from everything else, his photography thing is really coming out well. for an amatuer, his skills are extremely well developed.. posting some of the best shots he's taken (which i liked the most) till date...
watch out for more in the coming posts!!

Sleep

i have got this bad habit of sleeping in the afternoon on weekends and then when i turn up in the office on monday, (well in this case tuesday) i feel very drowsy after lunch, ready to drop anytime..
my boss is out of station and so is one of my collegue. i have a presentation to make tomorrow which i didnt get a chance to discuss with my boss (he didnt seem interested that i have to present it in front of the entire management team). so now i have discussed it with two people who have given me their inputs which are actually similar and involve me of showing the data which i currently do not have. it was the responsibility of one of my colleague which he did not do and is now travelling... conviniently!!
i was just thinking about the people who do the routine work (for example even consider a typist) and feel jealous some how. They do not have to tackle issues of cost reduction and bully their brains into doing some automization where they would use less ink but the output quality would not be affected!!!!! oh lord! i am just so tired. if i ask for a good nights sleep without any worries, is it a crime???
i guess it is.. for the amount of money i am getting paid, i ofcourse have to sacrifice a good nights sleep and think of the issues i have at hand. and i am sitting in my office and writing a blog for gods sake when i have piles and piles of work still pending! shame on me!!!!!!!!!!
so now, after this most abrupt post of my life, i am getting back to work!
adieu!

Just spit it out..............!

Thats what i told myself when i was unable to concentrate on anything. it was better to just spit out what i was thinking. there are a lot of things that are happening, some good news, some major decisions we have taken. but that has to wait for now.
again the issue is at the house where i am staying. i want to desparately get out of there and find a place which i can call home! S is understanding but is not able to think how to get out of there without causing a rift. I just say one thing. it is better we move out now and maintain what ever relations are there or we stay there and move out once we have reached such a level where the relations have entirely gone down the drain (they are almost on their way!!)
somehow he is not yet comfortable with the idea. but sooner or later we have to come in terms with the reality. even if i have spend a lot of money for the sake of having peace when i return home, i will spend it. because peace and satisfaction form the most important things i now need in life.
apart from the home issues, the office somehow is not that attractive an affair any more. it is getting a monotony (which is there in my hands to break completely) and i feel drained right in the morning. i am not getting enough sleep nor am i feeling energetic thruout the day. of course i know the reasons. and i need to work on them rather than sitting here and rant about it. its just that i dont know where to start. well, when i am fuming, angry, disturbed, there is one thing that i always do - i clean things, be it cupboards, the house in general, i just sort out the mess. though that doesnt really help sorting out the mess in my life, i atleast have the satisfaction of having control over 'some' mess around me.
so this weekend is going to be a cleaning sangraam. i am planning to throw 50% of the things out of that house. and i know that there is going to be a tirade over it from my in-laws. but thats predicted.
so i will now get back next week with some things which are on a happier note. and i hope by that time i am feeling better as well.
ciao.