once again...

Once again terror strikes the financial capital of India. Once again, a lot of people get killed. once again, a lot of families are destroyed. Top cops get shot. innocent people attacked. this time the targets were foreigners, they say...
Salute to the spirit of Mumbai?????? Again? would the spirit of Mumbai still remain unhampered, unscathed after so many attacks on her? i doubt. its time to step out and realise that saluting the spirit attack after attack is not going to solve the problem.
the gunmen were aged 18 to 25. ruthless, remorseless. the gunman arrested is an 18 year old educated whoever (i dont know what to call him! a kid? it will defeat the trace of innocence we long to see in kids.... so he is a whoever) and he says that he wants to live... (so says the Times of India) bloody hell he wants to live after he shot so many innocent people.
i wonder what amount of brain washing has gone into to turn these so called educated people to turn into terrorists. to make them so hardened to the core that they wouldnt even feel sorry for their acts. I dont understand how they could even believe that they would return back to where ever they came from 'alive!'. would they have really believed that we Indians would forgive them ever and let them go??? just like that????
We Indians.... We Maharastrians... We Marathi Manoos.... Aamchi Mumbai.. i wonder what Raj Thackeray was doing when this attack happened. i wonder what the his so called MNSena was doing when their Mumbai, their Mumbaikar was being gunned down by these unknown people. Why didnt they take the situation in hand now? isnt it much easier to attack people who are unarmed, innocent, terrified than to attack people who are really dangerous? what was MNS doing when the NSG was flown in and they laid down their lives to protect ours. Or did Mr. Raj Thackeray ensure that all the people in NSG were from MNS????? You dont have any right to touch Maharashtra and its people if you dont have the guts to protect it...
I salute to the bravery of the NSG, the Army, the Police, the ATS, the navy, the hotel staff, to all the people who fought for us. I hate to imagine about the families who saw their near and dear ones lay their lives for national security. I know what it feels to sit at home and know that one of your family member is out there in a war for your country.
I pray that such a situation never arise. I pray that there never should be a war. can these prayers be answered?
Media gave a blow by blow account of the happenings of this attack on Mumbai. that was really brave of those reporters who stood near the attack sites and gave the reports probably posing a risk to their own lives. but today, theres a headline, Cricket matches to happen in Chennai instead of Mumbai... Oh.. a real national catastrophe, isnt it? India will be exposed to a bigger threat if a cricket tournament is canceled!!!
Sad situation, isnt it? that some people forget these things so fast in life and all they are worried about is a Venue change of Cricket!

Time...

sleepy

i can sleep at any given time. earlier i atleast required a comfotable bed, today i manage even in the bus while travelling. its past lunch time and now my eyes are closing. i could go to sleep. a nice deep one.
i completed yesterdays post just for the sake that i didnt want to leave it for later. if i would have, i could have never finished it. there are so many posts which i have half left and then never completed! i was half asleep by the time i finally hit the 'publish post' button.
anyways, i am half asleep now too but i have a lot of work to complete. many things to do. should get back to work now.

am back....

It has been a long time and life has been punctuated with a lot of events. Diwali was good. I went to Goa for the first time in my life. With a lot of debates and discussions, it was finally decided to travel by a private bus service. For a change, the bus started right on time. So though the driver took 1 hour to finish his dinner instead of the usual 20 mins, we didn’t mind.
We resumed the journey and barely after 15 mins of traveling, he stopped the bus. After half an hour we came to know there was a breakdown. We were at a distance of about 50 kms from Pune. However, there was no extra bus available in Pune and they called a spare from Kolhapur which was about 200 kms away. So there we were, stranded on the highway in the middle of the night waiting for the spare bus to arrive! It did, after 3 hours and then we finally shifted all our luggage onto that bus and started again. We reached Kolhapur at 0600 in the morning (we should have reached here at 0000 hrs in normal circumstances). The bus stopped on a petrol pump. 15 mins... 30 mins... an hour... two hours... it didn’t move an inch. Well, this bus broke down too.. irritating it was... however, sushil could capture a few beautiful shots of the sunrise.

We finally reached Goa at 1400 hrs instead of 0700 hrs. it was tiring. We took an auto home and I got the first glimpse of Goa. Tired as I was, it didn’t stop my spirits to soar up. The houses, the roads, the weather... it was beautiful! Lunch at home and little nap did a little trick of refreshing us up. Evening, we were supposed to go on a beach, however, we got a little late and it was already dark by then, so we changed our route to Martins corner. It is this famous sea food restaurant there which has served very famous people like Aishwarya Rai, AB, Suniel Shetty, and Sachin Tendulkar and the list is endless. There is this wall with all the photographs... (I forgot to take a picture of that!!)

So we had a splendid dinner. I relished on the fish... it was toooooooo good!!! Then we returned home and slept.
Next day was packed. We had this huge number of things to do and a lot of places to visit. We started at about 1000 hrs (we could have started earlier... anyways) and first went to a temple near Ponda. I honestly do not remember the name of the place. S’s sister had come there so the purpose was to meet them. then we went to meet S’s sister who stays in Goa. We spent the morning there. It was, umm, a bit unplanned but we had to. Then we went to this mess near the Mangeshi mandir to had lunch. The fish fry I had there was A M A Z I N G! next stop was the St. Francis church. Its beautiful!!

Next we started for the Calangute beach. It is this crowded beach with a lot of shacks and lot of semi-nude foreigners. I did not take that photographs and even if I did, I am not going to put it on this blog.
We did some water sports there. I just sat in a speed boat. However, S and Manish (S’s jiju) did para-sailing too. And in the mean time, me and Yaba (my sis in law) sat there watching these firangi ladies in bikinis and wishing we had that figure too... well, yaba is thin.. and by thin, I mean very thin.. oh, to be precise, she wud be somewhere lower than size zero. But still, a perfect figure is still a perfect figure!
The day ended and we saw the sunset on that crowded beach.

I would have preferred somewhere silent, lonely, sitting down facing the sun and closing your eyes when the sun is half set. Closing ur eyes and think about all those things which have gone terribly wrong and then all those which have been miraculously right. Open your eyes and then sun is fully set. But the sky is lit up with the orange glow. It feels beautiful. I first tried this exercise when I had gone to hari-hareshwar with the Cummins group and second time at Diweagar with S. the day ended and we went home. Had dinner (home made) and then we went to see ‘Narkasur night’. It is this big event in Goa where there is a procession of ‘Narkasur’ and a competition for that too.
Last day in Goa was spent at home and we started our journey back at 1800 hrs in the evening. The journey back was uncomfortable but we reached in time. Diwali zoomed by and the holidays were soon over.

Then came the period which I was not really looking forward to. The audit preparations. It did not go as I had expected them too. I didn’t get any help from anyone initially. No support. And the usual unnecessarily proud me.. I didn’t even go and ask for help. I kept it to myself. I struggled to get work done. I failed. I tried again. I failed. Finally, I did it myself. I was frustrated. I was worried. I was ashamed of my self not being able to do anything. Anything at all. I cried, I hated myself, I made a resolute of quitting my position at the end of the audit. Da helped me a lot. But I could not go to him for each and everything. I could not go to Sag for everything too. Going to Sam was not being very useful. The shop floor boys and my new team member helped me. I was aware of atleast someone being helpful. We did whatever we could and we managed to put up some show out there.
Finally in the last 3 days of the audit, Sas came and helped me. He was to present the stuff and he was not ready. No practice, no script, no preparation.
‘your pillar is so weak’
I was tired to hear this. Every time I heard this, my eyes would fill with tears. I felt as if someone is talking bad about my baby. I hated everyone for that. And for the first time, first time, I felt connected to my job. First time I felt my emotional independence collapse. I had waited for this day for so long. But I never thought it would come in this way. I thought it would be a proud moment where I would be praised for my achievement. But it was not.
Finally the audit day arrived and everything went smooth. It was close to perfect.
Isn’t it said, ‘alls well that ends well’. But was it?
I went through various phases during this time. Happiness, laughter, tears, tension – so much I could feel myself shaking, I spent sleepless nights... it was everything.
I vowed not to trust anyone, I vowed not to depend on anyone. I vowed to quit, I vowed not to do anyone elses job, I vowed not to help anyone because they didn’t help me. I vowed, I cursed, I thundered, I cried, I felt so helpless. I felt so angry, all the time!
I realized I was becoming like everyone else. I was losing me.
But I pulled through. I never thought I would, but I did. And now, I vowed to turn things around, I vowed to give my best... I am glad I returned. And I hope that I get better.
The audit day ended with a party. The party ended with a movie. Dostana. We were a group of 10 and a couple of unexpected people joined too. About Dostana, later...
Today we decided to start afresh. I discussed my thinking with kv. He saw some meaning to it. But it was not completed due to lack of time. However, we will continue tomorrow...
Afterall, the work has just begun.....................................

My absence...

its been a long time and life has been eventful. starting from the Goa trip in Diwali to the most awaited audit preparations in the company which is starting of the next week.
i want to write a lot, but time is not so generous. There are many things i noticed, many experiences i got, many friends i made, lots of lessons learnt. i will be back with the full story. soon....

Mixed day

Yesterday was a mixed day. It started bad. went on to be good as the time passed. it ended excellent.
Morning was bad because we were only 2 people in our department instead of the usual six. it went on to be good because we were doing fine, just the two of us. but the situation started taking a u-turn when there were a dozen trials to be taken and a lot of samples to be checked. and then there was this visit from an official for issuing a necessary document. things went worst when SR started having health problems and had to go home early. so there i was, alone in the department. on top of that, there was a major raw material issue on the floor. and, unfortunately (or fortunately for me) 2 machines were down. so there were no tests to be done, so i could complete the other work which was pending. finally, at 1500 hrs, TRI arrived and i breathed a sigh of relief.
I was disappointed with my self. with all these activities to be done, i panicked. i convinced myself that this was the first time and it was natural to be so and next time things wud be handled in a better way. but still, i panicked! there is no excuse to that!
This was Tuesday.
Lot of things happened between that day to this day (friday, the 24th). i got my eye swollen.. no. no one hit me on the eye. i just got infected with Stye on my left upper eyelid. so it has swollen so much that my eye is half shut. Visits to the doctors have increased in the past three days. Everyday evening i am going to some doctor or the other! oh! what has happened to me. i never required going to a doctor for days together and now here i am at some or the other clinic everyday.
Work is good. work environment is getting horrible. people behave nice, think something else. its pathetic. for once, i feel i should be working in a different team. this lot sucks. not proud to say it, but i dont have any ideas nor the energy to put efforts to change the situation. i tried. i failed. i tried again. i failed again. third time, i am not so comfortable with the idea. and i dont want to waste my time trying to do something that i know will not happen.
tomorrow starts diwali and we are going to Goa. first time in my life i am going to go to goa. pathetic, i know. but still, its never too late is it? we will be spending 3 days there and then we are back to our home for Diwali. I wanted to spend Diwali somewhere else. some secluded, silent place. but all such destinations were already full 2 months ago. and those available were unaffordable for our current available finances. and S has his work to complete which could never happen had we stayed in Goa for the entire week.
the 3 days in Goa, S is going to make most of the time taking photographs. he wanted to go on a photography expedition for a long time, but it somehow was left out. so this time, he is going to have a great time.
things at home are good. life is busy. to my delight, my cold has reduced a lot. i get sound sleep during the night. its still not gone 100% but is much better now. because of the infection to my eye, i am now wearing my glasses all the time i am awake (happy news for S and maa) and the better part of it is that i am planning to make it a habit even after the infection goes away. hope it works out.

Wishing you all a very Happy and prosperous Diwali.... May the love and friendships in your life grow stronger by the day.
Have a lovely festival of lights. and try not to burst too many crackers...
Be safe....
M

Life is short...

Life is short. Break the rules. Forgive quickly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile.

One party is over!!

Its been a long time since me and S have been planning to call a lot of people to our home for dinner. things were not happening somehow and plans were getting canceled. Either i used to be busy, or sushil unavailable. but finally, yesterday, we made it and called one of the families we were wanting to since a long time.
The menu was short and i made most of the things at home except 'puran poli', which we decided to get from outside. things wrapped up quite quickly and did not become hectic at all since i had a holiday and there will be no hangover to office too since today is a holiday too!!
office is hectic and tomorrow i have a presentation where i am going to be butchered! so now, rest of the day will be spent in preparing for the presentation and doing the touchups.
home is good too. we were planning to shift into another house. but we didnt find anything suitable. nothing was comparable to our current home. the location, the space available and everything.... all the new apartment constructions the houses seem to be very small, though the area (in sq. mts) is the same as our current apartment. i, personally dont want to move. but it is S's parents who want to shift from here, since our apartment is on the second floor with no lift. they are not in a fit state to climb up. anyways, so we had halted the plans for sometime now but S's father is insisting that we do something about shifting. so i am going to make some calls today and probably try visiting some of the places which i can by myself.
to my delight my in-laws are quite in harmony with us now a days. probably their desperation to move to this house has increased ten fold. my in laws seem to be unable to stand their own son and DIL now.
this reminds me, a couple of years back, i had gone to a person who tells your past, present and future just by taking 2 informations from you-first is ur thumb print and the second is ur birthdate and birth time. well, i am not really a big fan of fortune tellers, but this was definitely different. i cant call him a fortune teller. its not a science either, but just for information visit this site to know more...
http://www.sundaytimes.lk/021124/plus/1.html
so, anyways, on these 2 pieces of information he had taken from me, he told me my name, my parents name, my sisters name, my husbands name... well... it had started getting interesting. anyways, i will not write everything here, but he had predicted that my BIL and FIL would end up having huge disagreements.. so intense that they would go to an extreme.
S said, this was NOT possible. BIL was not married that time.
the time to come was to unfold the tale. and it happened. it happened just the way that person had told us. is it a co-incidence, i know not. but he also told me that you will have to take care of ur in-laws. well, with one prediction having become a concrete reality, i said, well this is almost happening too. and so, i have decided to shed all the things that have gone wrong in the past and start afresh. yes, i had said that now i am becoming a 'never forget nor forgive' kind of a person. but now i am mentally prepared to make an exception to that.

A change...

Lot of changes. but its good to have a change. to have something new around you. thats why the change in the template. i like the format of it so much that i didnt mind letting go of the upgraded templates and had to revert back to the classic template. anyways, there is always an option available for reverting to my original template..
so, enjoy the change for a while....

Rock On...

Tell me the problem – again. Yet again. But I managed to come up with concerns that really matter now. apart from people, apart from their attitude, the things which we need to concentrate. So, we need to ‘Rock On’... just using the words because we saw the movie yesterday...
Nice movie. I would rate it 3. not 4, 3.
Performances by all are excellent and Prachi Desai (to my liking) had a lot of scenes. She is good. So is everyone else. No one has over acted. No one is expressionless. But the story doesn’t have the excitement. You know what is going to happen in the end (ofcourse u know in every movie.. ‘happy endings!’ barring some like RDB) but still you are curious as to where the story is leading (like chak de India.. I mean, we all know that India is going to win in the end!). But somehow, I felt that lacking here.
Secondly, when the ‘Magik’ re-unites, I felt the hyper-emotion missing. It was a simple re-union. I mean Joe and Aditya should have be overwhelmed at the moment of re-union. But it was missed, somehow.
Apart from this, the movie is great. Music is good. I will not say great, because personally I am not a huge fan of ‘Rock music’ and secondly, the popular song ‘socha hai..’ was missing from the movie. I was waiting till the end for that song to screen, but it didn’t happen. So there was some disappointment.
Short movie, smart movie and one which you can relate to.
Enough reasons, I say, to go and watch it once.
With my track record, I will watch the movie again. And I hope I will like it better next time!
edited to add: i missed the first 10 mins of the movie and hence missed the song 'socha hai....' so that states the need to rewatch the movie!!! [:)]