Everything is just the same at work. its like a typical hindi or marathi soap... it goes on for years and years. even if you stop watching it for a couple of months, and then try to watch it again, it is very easy to pick up the happenings, cauz nothing really would have changed. same is with the office. nothings changed...
i have come a long way. the past nine months were equivalent to a lifetime for me... today is 8th sept... if everything would have been okay, i would be 2 days away from my due date. 10th september......... well, so was not to be..
the more time i spend alone, the thoughts have started coming back with a bang...
the questions... why us?
the guilt... all the times i was angry, i was irritated and the times when i troubled myself mentally during my pregnancy
the helplessness... i could do nothing to prevent it from happening
the anger... towards all those people who should have, but didnt care
the anger... towards myself of not having taken the strong decisions at the right time...
the future... would this happen again?
all that think of is, if only...............!! if only...
i am trying to be busy. trying to think of something else. trying to think of a bright future. trying to think of work. but the sorrow still remains, as severe and as deep as it was on the day i learnt of my sons death.
we shifted out of my mom's house. the move was very difficult. i was to shift out with my husband and my child.. we moved out, but just the two of us... temporarily we are staying in the inlaws house. a decision which i was not really for. we will move out by 20th. most of the things have been shifted. we just need to buy a few things and get the fittings done in our home....
our home... at last... a place which i can call my own.. a place where no one will come and tell me or my husband, 'this is our house. you dont have any right here'
a place to which i can finally connect with...
the impatience is mounting. i cant wait to move in.. in OUR home.
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