'what is ur aspiration?'
'i dont know'
'why?'
'its been different when i was in Cummins, different when in TFDC and when i am here it is different, and with the recent events in my life, i have stopped thinking about it'
'what is stopping you from thinking about it?'
'nothing is'
'then why are u not. you should. you cant stop living'
yes. i cant stop living. but how do i tell you that i am trying to take one day at a time. i told myself.
their expectations from me. the confidence they saw in me. the things i was unable to do. it was laid on the table. in short, i was sweetly told that i am doing nothing other than handling raw materials. ouch. it hurt. it hurt a lot.
'is that true?' i found asking my self. i took care of raw mat, pillar, coa, samples, other non-std requests from the dept, management systems.. but that was before i left. now its just raw mat and management systems. yeah. i guess it is true. and i knew it. i didnt need anyone else to come n tell me that. thats what hurt the most. and on top of that, it was the big b who said it. so the 'guilt?' doubled. i felt like i had betrayed his confidence in me.
ofcourse, these are thoughts after a nights sleep. yesterday, i was very angry. i even refused his offer to drop me home. stupid. i know. but, well.
then in the afternoon i talked to my long lost friend. and it felt good. i cried when i reached home. felt like smashing a glass or something. i didnt, ofcourse. but then, eventually, i calmed down.
i have to make a plan for myself now. to be discussed with the boss on monday. lets see how that goes.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
My new normal
Borrowed from http://heathermohr.wordpress.com/
MY NEW “NORMAL”
Author Unknown
Normal is having tears waiting behind every smile when you realize someone important is missing from all the important events in your family’s life.
Normal for me is trying to decide what to take to the cemetery for Birthdays Christmas, Thanksgiving, New Years, Valentine’s Day, July 4th and Easter.
Normal is reliving that day continuously through your eyes and mind.
Normal is every happy event in my life always being backed up with sadness lurking close behind, because of the hole in my heart.
Normal is staring at every baby who looks like she is my baby’s age. And then thinking of the age she would be now and not being able to imagine it. Then wondering why it is even important to imagine it, because it will never happen.
Normal is telling the story of your child’s death as if it were an everyday, commonplace activity, and then seeing the horror in someone’s eyes at how awful it sounds. And yet realizing it has become a part of my “normal”.
Normal is each year coming up with the difficult task of how to honor your child’s memory and her birthday and survive these days.
Normal is my heart warming and yet sinking at the sight of something special that my baby would have loved, but how she is not here to enjoy it.
Normal is having some people afraid to mention my baby.
Normal is making sure that others remember her.
Normal is after the funeral is over everyone else goes on with their lives, but we continue to grieve our loss forever.
Normal is weeks, months, and years after the initial shock, the grieving gets worse sometimes, not better.
Normal is not listening to people compare anything in their life to this loss, unless they too have lost a child. NOTHING. Even if your child is in the remotest part of the earth away from you – it doesn’t compare. Losing a parent is horrible, but having to bury your own child is unnatural.
Normal is trying not to cry all day, because I know my mental health depends on it.
Normal is realizing I do cry everyday.
Normal is being impatient with everything and everyone, but someone stricken with grief over the loss of your child.
Normal is a new friendship with another grieving mother, talking and crying together over our children and our new lives.
Normal is not listening to people make excuses for God. “God may have done this because…” I love God, I know that my baby is in heaven, but hearing people trying to think up excuses as to why babies were taken from this earth is not appreciated and makes absolutely no sense to this grieving mother.
Normal is wondering this time whether you are going to say you have three children or two, because you will never see this person again and it is not worth explaining that my baby is in heaven. And yet when you say you have two children to avoid that problem, you feel horrible as if you have betrayed your baby.
Normal is knowing I will never get over this loss, in a day or a million years.
And last of all, Normal is hiding all the things that have become “normal” for you to feel, so that everyone around you will think that you are “normal”.
MY NEW “NORMAL”
Author Unknown
Normal is having tears waiting behind every smile when you realize someone important is missing from all the important events in your family’s life.
Normal for me is trying to decide what to take to the cemetery for Birthdays Christmas, Thanksgiving, New Years, Valentine’s Day, July 4th and Easter.
Normal is reliving that day continuously through your eyes and mind.
Normal is every happy event in my life always being backed up with sadness lurking close behind, because of the hole in my heart.
Normal is staring at every baby who looks like she is my baby’s age. And then thinking of the age she would be now and not being able to imagine it. Then wondering why it is even important to imagine it, because it will never happen.
Normal is telling the story of your child’s death as if it were an everyday, commonplace activity, and then seeing the horror in someone’s eyes at how awful it sounds. And yet realizing it has become a part of my “normal”.
Normal is each year coming up with the difficult task of how to honor your child’s memory and her birthday and survive these days.
Normal is my heart warming and yet sinking at the sight of something special that my baby would have loved, but how she is not here to enjoy it.
Normal is having some people afraid to mention my baby.
Normal is making sure that others remember her.
Normal is after the funeral is over everyone else goes on with their lives, but we continue to grieve our loss forever.
Normal is weeks, months, and years after the initial shock, the grieving gets worse sometimes, not better.
Normal is not listening to people compare anything in their life to this loss, unless they too have lost a child. NOTHING. Even if your child is in the remotest part of the earth away from you – it doesn’t compare. Losing a parent is horrible, but having to bury your own child is unnatural.
Normal is trying not to cry all day, because I know my mental health depends on it.
Normal is realizing I do cry everyday.
Normal is being impatient with everything and everyone, but someone stricken with grief over the loss of your child.
Normal is a new friendship with another grieving mother, talking and crying together over our children and our new lives.
Normal is not listening to people make excuses for God. “God may have done this because…” I love God, I know that my baby is in heaven, but hearing people trying to think up excuses as to why babies were taken from this earth is not appreciated and makes absolutely no sense to this grieving mother.
Normal is wondering this time whether you are going to say you have three children or two, because you will never see this person again and it is not worth explaining that my baby is in heaven. And yet when you say you have two children to avoid that problem, you feel horrible as if you have betrayed your baby.
Normal is knowing I will never get over this loss, in a day or a million years.
And last of all, Normal is hiding all the things that have become “normal” for you to feel, so that everyone around you will think that you are “normal”.
Monday, December 14, 2009
A man in grief
borrowed fro,http://heathermohr.wordpress.com/loss-songspoems/
It must be difficult
To be a man in grief,
Since “men don’t cry” and “men are strong”
No tears can bring relief.
It must be very difficult
To stand up to the test
And field calls and visitors
So she can get some rest.
They always ask if she’s doing all right
And what she’s going through,
But seldom take his hand and ask,
“My friend, but how are you?”.
He hears her crying in the night
and thinks his heart will break.
He dries her tears and comforts her,
But stays strong for her sake.
It must be very difficult
To start each day anew
And try to be brave~
He lost his baby too.
It must be difficult
To be a man in grief,
Since “men don’t cry” and “men are strong”
No tears can bring relief.
It must be very difficult
To stand up to the test
And field calls and visitors
So she can get some rest.
They always ask if she’s doing all right
And what she’s going through,
But seldom take his hand and ask,
“My friend, but how are you?”.
He hears her crying in the night
and thinks his heart will break.
He dries her tears and comforts her,
But stays strong for her sake.
It must be very difficult
To start each day anew
And try to be brave~
He lost his baby too.
Break.
A need a break. from everything. i just want to lie down and read books and eat ready made food. i need a person to take care of my laundry and of the house. i wish i could get a break. things are a whirlwind of activities and slowly this year is coming to a close. by far, in my life of 26 years, this has been the worst year of my life, in terms of our biggest loss. and now this year is coming to a close. i hope that next year brings us joys we yearn for. our kid. in our arms. whole, healthy, happy...
Hope. i have not lost that yet. and i will never lose it.
home front is busy. while i was away for 10 days, it wasnt easy for the husband managing everything. he didnt eat at home even for a single day. there was an inch of dust on every surface i lay my eyes on. loads of laundry.
humph. new project at home. i am teaching the husband to cook. he must atleast be able to take care of himself when i am away.
Office. a mess as well. loads of things to do and pending from my days of absence. the big b was annoyed with me. he was shouting on my boss, but i could understand his direction of annoyance. but, i am making upto it. slowly. and i am making my mark again in the company. i am gaining my lost confidence back. and people are placing their trust back in me. lot of new people around. lot of new energy and also, some tough spots. i struggle to keep patience with some people. i am literally telling myself, 'Patience dear, patience', when i am talking to that person.
Kay is good. her husband is better. he has lost his hearing ability. not entirely. but he is not able to distinguish words. all he hears is noise. doctors say that his sensory nerves are not responding. it was tough on me to see his helplessness. and the helplessness brings back memories of 27th july 2009. helplessness of everyone around me and ofcourse of myself.
people told me that these memories will fade. they have not. they have become stronger with each passing day. i will never get over the loss of my child. i dont want to get over it. Adi is in my thoughts every passing minute and will always be for the rest of my life.
Christmas is going to be in Goa this time. i hope to enjoy and take my mind off the stupid things i keep thinking about. New year is going to be here again. i am thinking of inviting some of the husbands friends. well, i just got the idea, so i will ask him when he comes home.
two days from tomorrow, we have a break out session. we - the STC. will update about that once i am back.
Hope. i have not lost that yet. and i will never lose it.
home front is busy. while i was away for 10 days, it wasnt easy for the husband managing everything. he didnt eat at home even for a single day. there was an inch of dust on every surface i lay my eyes on. loads of laundry.
humph. new project at home. i am teaching the husband to cook. he must atleast be able to take care of himself when i am away.
Office. a mess as well. loads of things to do and pending from my days of absence. the big b was annoyed with me. he was shouting on my boss, but i could understand his direction of annoyance. but, i am making upto it. slowly. and i am making my mark again in the company. i am gaining my lost confidence back. and people are placing their trust back in me. lot of new people around. lot of new energy and also, some tough spots. i struggle to keep patience with some people. i am literally telling myself, 'Patience dear, patience', when i am talking to that person.
Kay is good. her husband is better. he has lost his hearing ability. not entirely. but he is not able to distinguish words. all he hears is noise. doctors say that his sensory nerves are not responding. it was tough on me to see his helplessness. and the helplessness brings back memories of 27th july 2009. helplessness of everyone around me and ofcourse of myself.
people told me that these memories will fade. they have not. they have become stronger with each passing day. i will never get over the loss of my child. i dont want to get over it. Adi is in my thoughts every passing minute and will always be for the rest of my life.
Christmas is going to be in Goa this time. i hope to enjoy and take my mind off the stupid things i keep thinking about. New year is going to be here again. i am thinking of inviting some of the husbands friends. well, i just got the idea, so i will ask him when he comes home.
two days from tomorrow, we have a break out session. we - the STC. will update about that once i am back.
Wednesday, December 02, 2009
2 years..
its been exactly 2 years since i joined my current company! amazing.. times flown really fast. it was a whirlwind of things that happened...
memorable 2 years. with highs and lows and anger and happiness and some great career achievements and the biggest personal loss.
few some personal achievements too.. owing the car fully now, new house, first international trip, new friends.. i guess my feelings will flow in the next post where i dont have to hurry and dont have a time limit.
just remembered suddenly when i was having breakfast and thought of noting it, thats why the hurried post.
cya
memorable 2 years. with highs and lows and anger and happiness and some great career achievements and the biggest personal loss.
few some personal achievements too.. owing the car fully now, new house, first international trip, new friends.. i guess my feelings will flow in the next post where i dont have to hurry and dont have a time limit.
just remembered suddenly when i was having breakfast and thought of noting it, thats why the hurried post.
cya
Ahoy India!
finally starting back for home today.. i really really really hope that this journey is uneventful!
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Malmo to Gavle
adventerous trip with out company seems a bit boring afterall. u get tired of running around and worrying all by urself.
i booked the ticket to stockholm - gavle yesterday. there was a 19 mins gap between 2 trains.
"will that time be sufficient"
"ma'am, u have 20 mins in between!"
"do the trains get late here?"
and i got a look of disgust. yeah right!
so i was pretty confident i'd make it. the train left on time, and i had full 4 hours to enjoy the ride in X2000. extremely fast. AMAZING.
surprisingly, since i was going north, i was expecting a lot of clouds, darkness, fog. but there came the sun, beautifully bathing everything in its golden warmth. it just felt good. there was little wind (guessing because the trees were still) and there were these puffs of clouds. it felt nice.
then, it was time to reach stockholm. and it didnt. it was exactly 20 mins late. i didnt even have the time to run and catch the train (bollywod style).
i went to the ticket window and asked them to reschedule. luckily they didnt make a fuss. lucky for them as i was ready with a fuss bigger than they wud make. so i got exactly 10 mins to catch the next train. hmm. interesting. i did run for this one. and they had booked me in 2nd K. it was frustrating. but, here too, u recognise the difference immediately in first and second Klass. its too obvious. something similar to what we have in india. the people, dressing style (i cant say languge because i didnt understand shit of that!). it was very very differentiable.
3.30 p.m. and it was already dark outside. there was a lot of fog. and the entire train route was through the pine forest. it was a bit scary. luckily, i understood when they said Gavle, and the train was on time, so i didnt have any problem getting off the train. then came the intense cold. there is a huge difference between cold of Malmo and that of Gavle. unluckily, for me, it isnt snowing! i wud have liked the snow better than the cold.
hotel was not so difficult to find. it is ok. yeah. ok cauz i compare it to Radissons. but i have to stay for just the night, so it is okay. tomorrow morning i am off to see the most talked about paper mill in our factory. i should have been 2 days. but i got only one. its okay. so again, tomorrow night i travel to stockholm, park myself there for a night and get to Lund next day morning. Urgh.
and then again, park my self in malmo for a night and start back to india. finally. i am waiting for wednesday.
Sweden is a beautiful country. but it is lonely to be alone. and with this fiasco, i feel more alone by the minute. there are people around me, who are friendly, but who speak different language. are more beautiful (:P) and have a different culture. so in the end, i am alone, here. but there are people, my people waiting for me back there. now i know what people dont like to live outside their own country!
i loved the idea of staying abroad. but with these 10 days, my perception has changed. ofcourse there is difference being on a business trip alone, and being together with ur family. it is a decision which is not required now.
anyways, so i am waiting for this trip to get over soon..
i booked the ticket to stockholm - gavle yesterday. there was a 19 mins gap between 2 trains.
"will that time be sufficient"
"ma'am, u have 20 mins in between!"
"do the trains get late here?"
and i got a look of disgust. yeah right!
so i was pretty confident i'd make it. the train left on time, and i had full 4 hours to enjoy the ride in X2000. extremely fast. AMAZING.
surprisingly, since i was going north, i was expecting a lot of clouds, darkness, fog. but there came the sun, beautifully bathing everything in its golden warmth. it just felt good. there was little wind (guessing because the trees were still) and there were these puffs of clouds. it felt nice.
then, it was time to reach stockholm. and it didnt. it was exactly 20 mins late. i didnt even have the time to run and catch the train (bollywod style).
i went to the ticket window and asked them to reschedule. luckily they didnt make a fuss. lucky for them as i was ready with a fuss bigger than they wud make. so i got exactly 10 mins to catch the next train. hmm. interesting. i did run for this one. and they had booked me in 2nd K. it was frustrating. but, here too, u recognise the difference immediately in first and second Klass. its too obvious. something similar to what we have in india. the people, dressing style (i cant say languge because i didnt understand shit of that!). it was very very differentiable.
3.30 p.m. and it was already dark outside. there was a lot of fog. and the entire train route was through the pine forest. it was a bit scary. luckily, i understood when they said Gavle, and the train was on time, so i didnt have any problem getting off the train. then came the intense cold. there is a huge difference between cold of Malmo and that of Gavle. unluckily, for me, it isnt snowing! i wud have liked the snow better than the cold.
hotel was not so difficult to find. it is ok. yeah. ok cauz i compare it to Radissons. but i have to stay for just the night, so it is okay. tomorrow morning i am off to see the most talked about paper mill in our factory. i should have been 2 days. but i got only one. its okay. so again, tomorrow night i travel to stockholm, park myself there for a night and get to Lund next day morning. Urgh.
and then again, park my self in malmo for a night and start back to india. finally. i am waiting for wednesday.
Sweden is a beautiful country. but it is lonely to be alone. and with this fiasco, i feel more alone by the minute. there are people around me, who are friendly, but who speak different language. are more beautiful (:P) and have a different culture. so in the end, i am alone, here. but there are people, my people waiting for me back there. now i know what people dont like to live outside their own country!
i loved the idea of staying abroad. but with these 10 days, my perception has changed. ofcourse there is difference being on a business trip alone, and being together with ur family. it is a decision which is not required now.
anyways, so i am waiting for this trip to get over soon..
Friday, November 27, 2009
something more on sweden..
arrival in malmo from Stockholm was totally uneventful. yes, how boring!
my taxi was waiting for me. and luckily for me i was wearing thermals, so it wasnt so bad to enter into malmo.
sweden at night, was nothing special. we do have that kind of roads in India now as well. journey to hotel was about 20 mins. and that was uneventful also.
one problem was that i had secured my luggage with a very reliable lock, and i had lost the key..both the keys... (did i just say smthing like uneventful..?)
so then, i checked in and call in for the housekeeping to help me break my lock.. and then my lock was too thin for their equipment.. wow!
but finally, together we did manage to break that lock and i breathed another sigh of relief. and then i went to my room, which was good. took a luke-warm water bath (no hot water) and then re-arranged my stuff and finally slept for a couple of hours..
it was time immediately to get up and go for breakfast..
first breakfast in Sweden. it was not so bad. i met 3 guys from India. it was good. and then Sam was there. and then i had hired a taxi because i had all my luggage with me and i didnt have time to buy a ticket for the shuttle which had already left.
so we reached our main office in about 20 mins. Met the person there who made all the arrangements for me. and thanks to him i was able to reach malmo on time..
bus was waiting and we were off to Markaryd.
People.. umph..all were staring in the opposite directions.. 'well this is going to be fun!'
but then, when we were in the training center, everything was just fine...
the people from bast mat whom i knew, had arrived, everyone was being friendly, i liked the place (ofcourse those were the photographs i published already!) and i liked my room as well
so, all in all, i was settled!
only regret - when my flight from Mumbai was cancelled, i was being booked in Hyatt! free of cost!!! i missed that.. and i dont know if i will be able to afford a stay in Hyatt in the near future!!
anyways,
so we went for this walk around the lake. it was so peaceful. the silence was defening at first, but then the sounds came.. of the wind, of the water, of the trees.. it was something close to heaven!
and then, we had these evening activities, which was fun ofcourse - self introductions, treasure hunts, games, singing... it was cool. and then ofcourse there was this handsome bloke around for smtime! :)
i really really feel like a stupid, idiot person. anyways,
so all in all, it was great till now. now am back in Malmo and awaiting my next travel on sunday.. will keep posting...
my taxi was waiting for me. and luckily for me i was wearing thermals, so it wasnt so bad to enter into malmo.
sweden at night, was nothing special. we do have that kind of roads in India now as well. journey to hotel was about 20 mins. and that was uneventful also.
one problem was that i had secured my luggage with a very reliable lock, and i had lost the key..both the keys... (did i just say smthing like uneventful..?)
so then, i checked in and call in for the housekeeping to help me break my lock.. and then my lock was too thin for their equipment.. wow!
but finally, together we did manage to break that lock and i breathed another sigh of relief. and then i went to my room, which was good. took a luke-warm water bath (no hot water) and then re-arranged my stuff and finally slept for a couple of hours..
it was time immediately to get up and go for breakfast..
first breakfast in Sweden. it was not so bad. i met 3 guys from India. it was good. and then Sam was there. and then i had hired a taxi because i had all my luggage with me and i didnt have time to buy a ticket for the shuttle which had already left.
so we reached our main office in about 20 mins. Met the person there who made all the arrangements for me. and thanks to him i was able to reach malmo on time..
bus was waiting and we were off to Markaryd.
People.. umph..all were staring in the opposite directions.. 'well this is going to be fun!'
but then, when we were in the training center, everything was just fine...
the people from bast mat whom i knew, had arrived, everyone was being friendly, i liked the place (ofcourse those were the photographs i published already!) and i liked my room as well
so, all in all, i was settled!
only regret - when my flight from Mumbai was cancelled, i was being booked in Hyatt! free of cost!!! i missed that.. and i dont know if i will be able to afford a stay in Hyatt in the near future!!
anyways,
so we went for this walk around the lake. it was so peaceful. the silence was defening at first, but then the sounds came.. of the wind, of the water, of the trees.. it was something close to heaven!
and then, we had these evening activities, which was fun ofcourse - self introductions, treasure hunts, games, singing... it was cool. and then ofcourse there was this handsome bloke around for smtime! :)
i really really feel like a stupid, idiot person. anyways,
so all in all, it was great till now. now am back in Malmo and awaiting my next travel on sunday.. will keep posting...
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Life in sweden...
ummm.. it has been hectic since the time i left home on last saturday night. we made it to the airport quite on time with about 4 hrs to spare (we need to check in 3 hrs early) and then i found the airline counter all right and i waited in the line..
waited and waited and waited... sm problem
"excuse me, what is the problem? why is the line held up?"
"umm.. sorry maam, the flight that was supposed to take off from here, hasnt taken off from Istanbul"
wow! "ok, when will it take off?"
"we are not sure maam, there is zero visibility"
yeah right!!
i waited till 3 in the morning (the flight was supposed to take off at 0525 but it was not there are the Mumbai airport.
"look miss, i have to reach copenhagen today night"
"we are trying to transfer people to another airlines maam. please bear with us"
another half hour. nothing.
i went to the counter and waited there (ofcourse there was a throng of people) and then she gave another booking to smone going to stockholm..
bingo..
"hey, i am ok to go to stockholm too"
"oh, ok.. i will just send u to the counter"
and then i was there waiting. the flight was to leave at 0500 hrs and we were there at the counter till 4.30 doing nothing.
there was this firang girl from stockholm who got really pissed off with them. and then finally they processed our documents, gave us the boarding passes and we went thru the immigrations and security real fast. we made it to the plane ofcourse in the typical bollywood movie style, running!
atlast we were off.. where to?? yeah.. Doha..
then we landed there and took a flight to venece.. Venece.. i was blank. where was that.. and then zap.. it is in switzerland, idiot!
hmm.. swiss chocolates.. and 6 hours of waiting to get to stockholm.. next connecting flight to Malmo, my final destination was at 10.45 and this flight was to land at 9.30.. barely enuf time. and then this flight to stockholm got delayed... ummm.. why with me???????????????
but anyways, i did finally reach to stockholm on time to catch the flight to Malmo. and reached at my hotel at 1.00 p.m. in the night swedish time - same as 5.00 a.m. in India..
aaah.. so in short i travelled mumbai - doha - venece - stockholm - malmo instead of
Mumbai - istanbul - copenhagen
next day we started for Markaryd in a bus from lund. the people were .. well.. umhmmm...
but once the training started, the things changed. i am in sweden at the worst possible time i suppose. winters. it is dark most of the time. when it is light, it is gray light and it is raining. i wont talk about the wind.
three days have passed now. and today i met one more person who is working in Tetra Pak. he is .. AMAZINGLY HANDSOME!
My sweetest, darling husband, you will read this and u will laugh. but after a long time, i have met some one as handsome, so please let me write it so that i can remember. i will show you pictures..
i have a lot of travelling to do before i come back to my home town. and then there are a whole lot of people to meet. so i am going to be darn busy over the next few days.
some pictures i have clicked...
waited and waited and waited... sm problem
"excuse me, what is the problem? why is the line held up?"
"umm.. sorry maam, the flight that was supposed to take off from here, hasnt taken off from Istanbul"
wow! "ok, when will it take off?"
"we are not sure maam, there is zero visibility"
yeah right!!
i waited till 3 in the morning (the flight was supposed to take off at 0525 but it was not there are the Mumbai airport.
"look miss, i have to reach copenhagen today night"
"we are trying to transfer people to another airlines maam. please bear with us"
another half hour. nothing.
i went to the counter and waited there (ofcourse there was a throng of people) and then she gave another booking to smone going to stockholm..
bingo..
"hey, i am ok to go to stockholm too"
"oh, ok.. i will just send u to the counter"
and then i was there waiting. the flight was to leave at 0500 hrs and we were there at the counter till 4.30 doing nothing.
there was this firang girl from stockholm who got really pissed off with them. and then finally they processed our documents, gave us the boarding passes and we went thru the immigrations and security real fast. we made it to the plane ofcourse in the typical bollywood movie style, running!
atlast we were off.. where to?? yeah.. Doha..
then we landed there and took a flight to venece.. Venece.. i was blank. where was that.. and then zap.. it is in switzerland, idiot!
hmm.. swiss chocolates.. and 6 hours of waiting to get to stockholm.. next connecting flight to Malmo, my final destination was at 10.45 and this flight was to land at 9.30.. barely enuf time. and then this flight to stockholm got delayed... ummm.. why with me???????????????
but anyways, i did finally reach to stockholm on time to catch the flight to Malmo. and reached at my hotel at 1.00 p.m. in the night swedish time - same as 5.00 a.m. in India..
aaah.. so in short i travelled mumbai - doha - venece - stockholm - malmo instead of
Mumbai - istanbul - copenhagen
next day we started for Markaryd in a bus from lund. the people were .. well.. umhmmm...
but once the training started, the things changed. i am in sweden at the worst possible time i suppose. winters. it is dark most of the time. when it is light, it is gray light and it is raining. i wont talk about the wind.
three days have passed now. and today i met one more person who is working in Tetra Pak. he is .. AMAZINGLY HANDSOME!
My sweetest, darling husband, you will read this and u will laugh. but after a long time, i have met some one as handsome, so please let me write it so that i can remember. i will show you pictures..
i have a lot of travelling to do before i come back to my home town. and then there are a whole lot of people to meet. so i am going to be darn busy over the next few days.
some pictures i have clicked...
Thursday, November 05, 2009
Dont tell me..
borrowed from http://makennahope.blogspot.com/
Please don't tell me you know how I feel,
Unless you have lost your child too,
Please don't tell me my broken heart will heal,
Because that is just not true,
Please don't tell me my son is in a better place,
Though it is true, I want him here with me,
Don't tell me someday I'll hear his voice, see his face,
Beyond today I cannot see,
Don't tell me it is time to move on,
Because I cannot,
Don't tell me to face the fact he is gone,
Because denial is something I can't stop,
Don't tell me to be thankful for the time I had,
Because I wanted more,
Don't tell me when I am my old self you will be glad,
I'll never be as I was before,
What you can tell me is you will be here for me,
That you will listen when I talk of my child,
You can share with me my precious memories,
You can even cry with me for a while,
And please don't hesitate to say his name,
Because it is something I long to hear everyday,
Friend please realize that I can never be the same,
But if you stand by me, you may like the new person I become someday.
Please don't tell me you know how I feel,
Unless you have lost your child too,
Please don't tell me my broken heart will heal,
Because that is just not true,
Please don't tell me my son is in a better place,
Though it is true, I want him here with me,
Don't tell me someday I'll hear his voice, see his face,
Beyond today I cannot see,
Don't tell me it is time to move on,
Because I cannot,
Don't tell me to face the fact he is gone,
Because denial is something I can't stop,
Don't tell me to be thankful for the time I had,
Because I wanted more,
Don't tell me when I am my old self you will be glad,
I'll never be as I was before,
What you can tell me is you will be here for me,
That you will listen when I talk of my child,
You can share with me my precious memories,
You can even cry with me for a while,
And please don't hesitate to say his name,
Because it is something I long to hear everyday,
Friend please realize that I can never be the same,
But if you stand by me, you may like the new person I become someday.
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