something more on sweden..

arrival in malmo from Stockholm was totally uneventful. yes, how boring!
my taxi was waiting for me. and luckily for me i was wearing thermals, so it wasnt so bad to enter into malmo.
sweden at night, was nothing special. we do have that kind of roads in India now as well. journey to hotel was about 20 mins. and that was uneventful also.
one problem was that i had secured my luggage with a very reliable lock, and i had lost the key..both the keys... (did i just say smthing like uneventful..?)
so then, i checked in and call in for the housekeeping to help me break my lock.. and then my lock was too thin for their equipment.. wow!
but finally, together we did manage to break that lock and i breathed another sigh of relief. and then i went to my room, which was good. took a luke-warm water bath (no hot water) and then re-arranged my stuff and finally slept for a couple of hours..
it was time immediately to get up and go for breakfast..
first breakfast in Sweden. it was not so bad. i met 3 guys from India. it was good. and then Sam was there. and then i had hired a taxi because i had all my luggage with me and i didnt have time to buy a ticket for the shuttle which had already left.
so we reached our main office in about 20 mins. Met the person there who made all the arrangements for me. and thanks to him i was able to reach malmo on time..
bus was waiting and we were off to Markaryd.
People.. umph..all were staring in the opposite directions.. 'well this is going to be fun!'
but then, when we were in the training center, everything was just fine...
the people from bast mat whom i knew, had arrived, everyone was being friendly, i liked the place (ofcourse those were the photographs i published already!) and i liked my room as well
so, all in all, i was settled!
only regret - when my flight from Mumbai was cancelled, i was being booked in Hyatt! free of cost!!! i missed that.. and i dont know if i will be able to afford a stay in Hyatt in the near future!!
anyways,
so we went for this walk around the lake. it was so peaceful. the silence was defening at first, but then the sounds came.. of the wind, of the water, of the trees.. it was something close to heaven!
and then, we had these evening activities, which was fun ofcourse - self introductions, treasure hunts, games, singing... it was cool. and then ofcourse there was this handsome bloke around for smtime! :)
i really really feel like a stupid, idiot person. anyways,
so all in all, it was great till now. now am back in Malmo and awaiting my next travel on sunday.. will keep posting...

Life in sweden...

ummm.. it has been hectic since the time i left home on last saturday night. we made it to the airport quite on time with about 4 hrs to spare (we need to check in 3 hrs early) and then i found the airline counter all right and i waited in the line..
waited and waited and waited... sm problem
"excuse me, what is the problem? why is the line held up?"
"umm.. sorry maam, the flight that was supposed to take off from here, hasnt taken off from Istanbul"
wow! "ok, when will it take off?"
"we are not sure maam, there is zero visibility"
yeah right!!
i waited till 3 in the morning (the flight was supposed to take off at 0525 but it was not there are the Mumbai airport.
"look miss, i have to reach copenhagen today night"
"we are trying to transfer people to another airlines maam. please bear with us"
another half hour. nothing.
i went to the counter and waited there (ofcourse there was a throng of people) and then she gave another booking to smone going to stockholm..
bingo..
"hey, i am ok to go to stockholm too"
"oh, ok.. i will just send u to the counter"
and then i was there waiting. the flight was to leave at 0500 hrs and we were there at the counter till 4.30 doing nothing.
there was this firang girl from stockholm who got really pissed off with them. and then finally they processed our documents, gave us the boarding passes and we went thru the immigrations and security real fast. we made it to the plane ofcourse in the typical bollywood movie style, running!
atlast we were off.. where to?? yeah.. Doha..
then we landed there and took a flight to venece.. Venece.. i was blank. where was that.. and then zap.. it is in switzerland, idiot!
hmm.. swiss chocolates.. and 6 hours of waiting to get to stockholm.. next connecting flight to Malmo, my final destination was at 10.45 and this flight was to land at 9.30.. barely enuf time. and then this flight to stockholm got delayed... ummm.. why with me???????????????
but anyways, i did finally reach to stockholm on time to catch the flight to Malmo. and reached at my hotel at 1.00 p.m. in the night swedish time - same as 5.00 a.m. in India..
aaah.. so in short i travelled mumbai - doha - venece - stockholm - malmo instead of
Mumbai - istanbul - copenhagen
next day we started for Markaryd in a bus from lund. the people were .. well.. umhmmm...
but once the training started, the things changed. i am in sweden at the worst possible time i suppose. winters. it is dark most of the time. when it is light, it is gray light and it is raining. i wont talk about the wind.
three days have passed now. and today i met one more person who is working in Tetra Pak. he is .. AMAZINGLY HANDSOME!
My sweetest, darling husband, you will read this and u will laugh. but after a long time, i have met some one as handsome, so please let me write it so that i can remember. i will show you pictures..
i have a lot of travelling to do before i come back to my home town. and then there are a whole lot of people to meet. so i am going to be darn busy over the next few days.
some pictures i have clicked...

Dont tell me..

borrowed from http://makennahope.blogspot.com/

Please don't tell me you know how I feel,
Unless you have lost your child too,
Please don't tell me my broken heart will heal,
Because that is just not true,
Please don't tell me my son is in a better place,
Though it is true, I want him here with me,
Don't tell me someday I'll hear his voice, see his face,
Beyond today I cannot see,
Don't tell me it is time to move on,
Because I cannot,
Don't tell me to face the fact he is gone,
Because denial is something I can't stop,
Don't tell me to be thankful for the time I had,
Because I wanted more,
Don't tell me when I am my old self you will be glad,
I'll never be as I was before,
What you can tell me is you will be here for me,
That you will listen when I talk of my child,
You can share with me my precious memories,
You can even cry with me for a while,
And please don't hesitate to say his name,
Because it is something I long to hear everyday,
Friend please realize that I can never be the same,
But if you stand by me, you may like the new person I become someday.

A wait...

Sunday, 25th of october was the day i was planning to spend just lazing around. reading books, watching movies and sleeping.
i got a call in the morning.
"Did kay call you?"
"i can see a missed call. i dont know who called"
"he husband has met with an accident"
"WHAT??"
"yes. he is in the birla hospital. she was crying on the phone. we have to reach there fast"
"i am on my way!"
it was a shock. i started from home. Sunday. rarely i could see any autos. no busses. finally, after a walk of 15 mins, i could find one auto. shareauto. stopping every 2 kms. no change to give back to customers. discussions. "do u have change"
God! i was so pissed. finally reached my stop. a 10 bucks note. "madam, do you have a rupee?".
"Keep the change"
i dashed towards SS car. waiting for me. got in.
"wheres the husband?"
"hes gone to office. i will call him and ask to come over."
i call the husband. he was already at the hospital
"how are you coming?"
"i am with SS. How is he? where is he? hows Kay?"
"i dont know. lets talk once you reach here"
Something was not right. i called again
"is he serious?"
"yes"
"very?"
"looks like"
"what did the doc say?"
"i dont know yet. he is in for a CT"
"we'll reach in 10 mins"
i walk in through the door. kay is sitting there. i sit beside her. she gives a free reign to her tears.
"i saw him. he vomited. there was blood all over. he didnt recognise me. he didnt even talk to me!!"
"shhhhhh.. everthing will be alright!"
what else could i say. i was speechless. shocked. not knowing what to do.
CT done.
doctor said, "he is not as serious as we though. CT is okay. we will shift him into ICU and start the treatment"
wait. wait. wait.
treatment started. and we were sitting outside in the waiting room. the neurosurgeon was to come.
wait. wait. wait.
it was really frustrating.
calls started flooding in. people started coming. finally the doctor said that he will recover fine. though he was unconcious, he will be concious within 7 hours.
wait. wait. wait.
Accident happened at 7.15 in the morning. 9.30 p.m., he was still unconcious. i took kay home. asked her to sleep, which i knew was anyways impossible.
next morning, he was still unconcious. doctor checks him again. there might be a cracked rib penetrating in the lungs. that seems critical too. Another CT.
Second CT normal. Tess came and gave Reki treatment. all were praying to god. i broke my belief too. i prayed too.
"you already have my sons life. return Dev's to him. make him wake up"
i dont know what worked. prayers, medicines, reki. me and kay went to ICU. he has opened his eyes. i talked.
(this was untill tuesday, 27th October 2009)
...........................................
PAUSE.
...........................................
Kay's husband opened his eyes, talked and recognised Kay on 29th October 2009. Things returning to normal now. tension vanished.


Coincidently, 29th october 2009 marked the 3rd month birthday of Aditya. He should have been with us. in our arms. growing, laughing, happy.
but he is not here; with us.
god bless you son. i hope you are happy. whereever u are.
love, Mum.

Memories...

borrowed from http://makennahope.blogspot.com/

If we could have a lifetime wish
A dream that would come true,
We'd pray to God with all our hearts
For yesterday and You.

A thousand words can't bring you back
We know because we've tried...
Neither will a thousand tears
We know because we've cried...

You left behind our broken hearts
And happy memories too...
But we never wanted memories
We only wanted You.

We love you..

A poem i found on another blog.... something which i could relate to for the first time in many months.
thanks for this thought lady. thanks for penning this poem down.
Her blog at - http://emptyarmsopenheart.blogspot.com/

If tears could build a stairway
And memories were a lane
We would walk right up to Heaven
And bring you back again.....
No farewell words were spoken
No time to say goodbye
You were gone before we knew it
And only God knows why......
Our hearts still ache in sadness
And secret tears still flow
What it meant to lose you
No on will ever know.....
how much we loved you
and still do....

trip abroad...

I am growing more and more excited and nervous as the days are passing by and the date of my departure to the abroad trip draws to a close. Tess has been very kind and helpful to have made all the arrangements for me including talking to all the people who are deputed there from India. The arrangements made, visa done, tickets ready, i am waiting to pack my bags and go there. it is very beautiful, i heard. the perfect destination for the kind of lifestyle i like (well, that is my guess that i like that kind of lifestyle. the grass is always greener on the other side).
Permanently settling there? no, the husband hates that kind of lifestyle. and i am not ready to leave him. so here i am, in India, the permanent resident. not going to go anywhere!
finally we are settled in the new house. the wait is now for the new member in our family which is not going to happen for another 2 years atleast.
meanwhile, the job is hectic. mine, as well as the husbands too. tomorrow also i have to come to office for some work. but i guess there is some ulterior motive of calling me to work. i dont know what it is. but there must be something, otherwise no one would call me to work on saturday. so its wait and watch.
the list of the 'things to do' for tomorrow was very high. but if the boss calls you for work, you cant say no. so work it is tomorrow. and another holiday gone. Sunday we are all (my side of the family) travelling to our family temple. so that day is hectic too and then comes monday! the start of the week and i have to wait for another 5 days for a relaxing break. well. its life. and i have to do it if i want to earn money. and i need to earn money because i have a huge loan to repay.
to summarize, my weekend is screwed. and next week is very hectic. and currently i do not know how the next week end is going to be?
dont i think too much about tomorrow? must stop doing that!

A trip to the rural India

the festival of lights - Diwali.
4 days official holidays, and one day personal leave.. i had 5 days to spend in our home, relax, rest..
I hardly did any of those.
the first two days we had gone to visit my grandmum. it was a nice change, for us, for them. weather was good. road was excellent..
the second day was the most memorable one. both for me and for the husband. we went out for a stroll. the husband has never stayed in the rural areas. he was amazed seeing the life, the houses, the roads, the cows and buffaloes.
Since it was diwali, we have a custom of making forts out of mud and sand. the forts are usually of King Shivai Maharaj (in our state atleast). i really do not know, why the custom. but it is there nevertheless and followed all over the state.
so these kids we enjoying making the fort. some had already finished, some were giving the final touches.
the husband ofcourse had his camera with him, and he wanted to click some shots. so he asked a litte boy, of not more than age 10 i guess, who was perched beside his fort, if he could click a photograph. the boy was more than happy to oblige. one photograph and there were atleast a dozen children who queued up for getting their pictures clicked.
there was a hurry of completing the final touches to their forts, a hurry of the mothers who took their kids inside the house to comb their hair, and straighten their clothes and applying face powder and sending them out again to get the photograph clicked.
and then, the husband with his famous 'patience' and the immense will to experiment, went on to click some pictures.. some of them posted below (these are the few i liked!) edited version may follow soon..

The rush to complete the final touches


All the kids with the fort


Another custom.. i do not know what it is, but it looks beautiful, doesnt it?


the girl in the red frock.. she was the most expressive and most photogenic i say..by the way, i clicked this one! :D


Another interesting fort..



The most fascinating part was that the kids were so happy there was someone there who wanted to take their pictures. they were all so expressive and happy. and so innocent.
the life in the rural area is worth being jealous of. they have so little, yet they are so happy. they do not have expectations which hurt them back. the entire village lives together like a big family. they love visitors. they are truly amazed to see the latest gadgets people carry who come from 'metros'. a simple thing that the photograph can be seen immediately on the digital camera was so surprising to all of them.. the kids, the parents, the grandparents..
it was so wonderful to be there.. some moments when i really forgot my worries and sorrows.
so we so plan to make another trip soon enough..
rest of the diwali was spend in the 'metro' where i live. going to placed of all the relatives and eating and eating and eating.. (urghhhh)
now.. the time to exercise.! :P

Pravs World - Living in you..

sometimes i feel the 'Pravs world' posts for me..!
a thought from the Pravs world...



If it is unreadable from the picutre -

Some things in life never change,
Sometimes in life you don't find reasons,
Some moments in life aren't forgotten,
Sometimes you loose hope...
When time rolls by you to forget
What holds you on...

Some people in life are a part of you,
And when you let them go,
You never lose them.
Because... you find them living in you.

Money check!

things change, circumstances change. the house has brought much happiness in our lives. The experience of shopping for the house, buying new things, setting up the house and trying your best to convert it in to a home is simply great. and when it is your first house, the experience becomes wonderful.
with buying a house, there are ofcourse some other things for us middle class people.. a loan, and an monthly installment to pay to the bank. we are just getting used to the idea to see a huge debit in the bank statements. Earlier, all it was a car loan. so the salary was all ours to spend as we wished. now, we have to think before we even spend a thousand bucks! Gosh!
but this experience is teaching. My aunt used to say, always, you have to have a loan on your head. If you have a loan, you will automatically work hard. yes, now i agree. i know i have to perform my best (not that i didnt perform my best earlier, but now it will be a conscience effort!) because i want a good salary rise and a good bonus at the end of year. why? because i want to repay my loan as soon as possible. its simple!
new house has given us a greater sense of responsibility and freedom. many of our friends / acquaintences / colleagues have visited us already. everyone of them loved this place. the terrace itself gives such a beautiful view! Yesterday Big B visited me. He was here to drop me off on his way back from the office. he liked the place too.
and then ofcourse, next month i am going abroad! :D
earlier i was not so enthu. but now i am looking forward to it. my stay has already been extended by 4 days. there are chances, it will still be extended by 2 more. and then, i might go to our other factory in the south-east asia sometime in the next six months. i am being given a lot of opportunity. i guess, i might be escalated in the heirarchy within the next couple of years.
after i re-joined office, i was happy that i was welcomed back. and then you become happy again to see that people are relieved when you are back. people actually say that now you are back, everything will start to be fine in your department. well, yes, that actually happened. people missed me. i am glad i could make that place in the minds of people within a year and half.
i love my job, i love my simple life, i love my lovely house. everything has indeed been good for me in the past couple of months except ofcourse for the fact that i lost my child. the grief, still overshadows the good things that are happening.
Strangely enough, i can talk with other people about my kid with exceptionally strange ease. i dont get emotional. but when i am alone, the thought never leaves my mind, and the tears never leave my eyes. it is probably because the pain, both physical and mental, and the grief is one memory i have of my son. and the memory is just mine. i dont want to share it with no one. no one at all..
anyways, like i said, i will be posting some pictures of the house. here they are, of my favourite place in the world (the view from our terrace) and our living room. i have not yet taken photographs of the bedrooms because they are not yet set up completely. so those photos will come later..
till then, have a look at these!

The living room..


The entrance of the house.. i love this frame of Lord Ganesh..


The view from the terrace..


The sunset, seen from the terrace..