B is not in town and RI on leave too. So a bit of more work to do. things are very hectic. By the time i reach home, i am half dead and i have no energy to cook. now a days we are eating out 50% of the times. yeah. pathetic and not at all good.. i know.. but then there is no energy to stand in the hot kitchen and cook food. though only, we are two at the moment. i am surprised at myself when i think about the situation a couple of months ago when i was going home everyday and cooking food for 4 people. still with me and sushil, i dont even cook the entire meal. Anyways, i think i am just getting a bit lazy.
things at office are good. my work is being recognized.. only thing, it is being recognized as some one elses work. i thought i wouldnt care, and then finally it is my achievement. i thought that the satisfaction of taking some one along and grooming that person to become independent in the organization will be much more than getting the credit yourself. but i was wrong. i felt bad seeing my work being appreciated in front of me, but not as mine!
well, this was my plan in the first place for things to happen this way.. but it seems that the results are not going to do me much good in the end and it shouldnt have been this way at all!!
yes, i am being selfish.. and all i will suggest myself is to sleep over the issue. and tomorrow morning, i will have put all this behind and will move on ahead...
thinking deeply, i will say that i do not regret the decisions i have made. if i would have been given a second chance to change this, i wouldnt have change a thing...
things at home front are going good.. ofcourse they will go good.. until the time my ILs return! if S reads this, he will say i am being very mean and they dont 'create that much of a mess' in my life that i have to be so blunt about it.. in a way, yes, its perfectly true.. all that happens is that in the morning you get up, see that the kitchen you had gleamed spotlessly just last night, is in a mess again. milk is kept on boiling on a full flame. so is the chai brewing on the other burner. milk has been spilled a bit. then you open the fridge and see that there is already half a litre milk in there which had been boiled the previous day. but then, that has become stale and now cannot be used (in my minds eye, i see so many people across the world who dont even get to see milk, let alone drink it!). MIL is sitting in front of the preparation surface in the kitchen such that you dont have enough room to make even a cup of coffee...... you leave that thought, get going, get ready and leave the house finally leaving that steamy hot cup of coffee which otherwise you would not miss.
evening you return home.. the T.V is in full volume. ILs are shouting on top of the volume of the television set at one another.. each and every room of the house is now in a mess.. you bed has been strewn with washed clothes. so before you even sit down, you have fold them and pile them in one corner. you are wishing to have a hot cup of coffee.. to sit and relax for a while.. but then you see that it is already 7 o'clock in the evening and you have to cook a full meal. so you go to the kitchen.. first clean up, then cook the food, serve it, eat it, then clean up again. this eats up 2 hours of my time. and by 9 o'clock, i am in no mood to do anything else but to go to sleep....
weekends is no fun as well.. ILs dont like the fact that i invite any of my lot at home.. so i go out.. anyways i cant even watch T.V. on weekends, as the television set is running all the marathi channels and saas-bahu soaps.. switching the channels is strictly prohibited. so i atleast escape from cooking (mornings) on those two days. and then again, monday starts.. the same cycle does on and on and on...
yes, so S is correct.. i dont need to make a fuss out of it... they dont create any mess in my life!!
however, i might be a little biased in my belief for the way they have treated me and my family in the past. still when ILs are at home, i dont have to care about the couriers that arrive in the afternoon. i dont have to care about the timings at which my baai is going to come. i dont have to care about the LPG cylinder that comes to my home in the afternoon when I am bound to miss it. i dont have to worry about the house at all...
still i wonder sometimes.. what is better? having these many benifits along with the side effects or having nothing at all??
Debatable.. and i am in no mood to debate right now..
its 4.45 in the evening and my eyes have already grown heavy. A nice, fitful sleep, while going home.. that is what i am looking forward to now..
it was nice to write so many things after such a long time.. i should get more regular here, no?
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