Well, i am excited. more anxious to get over with another month and a half. that will be end of august and i mostly would have already delivered (or be on the verge of delivering) my baby.
i am excited, nervous, tensed. but yes, i guess i am very much prepared. since i am not working, i have plenty of time to sit and think how i am going to bring up my kid, how am i going to manage my job and manage to be there for my baby when ever she/he needs me? how am i going to have my perfect little family with nothing but love in it? thinking is very different than doing. but then, i have got enough time to think it thru..!
we were on the verge of booking a flat in a construction scheme. however, we cancelled the booking at the last moment. we could manage with a loan. our salaries were sufficient to get the loan sanctioned. but we were not comfortable with the amount that was being left in our hand after the expenses and EMI that was going to get cut off. and with the baby coming, we really have no idea how much our living expenses would go up. plus there was the problem of paying the upfront money. we could manage if we wanted to, but we would have drawn out on our every bank account and deposits and gold reserves (not that i have a huge amount of gold, but we have managed to gather some since our marriage, as emergency funds, which now lies safely in the bank locker!) but again, with the upcoming delivery and not knowing what complications might come up during that, we needed to have spare cash at hand. so we decided best to wait. anyways, in a month and halfs time we would be moving in with my parents. and i would stay there till november / december atleast. till then we can decide on the options of buying / renting a house. i am not very keen on returning here if the in-laws are planning to stay in this house. but well, that remains to be decided in due course.
days and nights have started becoming tiresome now. much to my gynacologists delight, i have now started gaining weight. a little by little ofcourse, but i have started gaining. i have started identifying my baby sleeping patterns. i know when the kids going to wake up and start kicking me. mostly it is late in the night or early morning. so in short, that makes my nights sleep almost useless. i make up for it during the day ofcourse. but at nights, i keep tossing and turning in the bed, eventually disturbing the husbands sleep as well. not that he complaints. sometimes i wonder which wonderful thing i have done in my life that i got a husband like him! dont want to get philosophical. but i would have been a wreck without him.
we have managed to get our finances in check as well. by the end of this week, we will be entirely loan free. our car will be in our name and there will be no EMI's getting deducted from the salary. so finally the 'net payable' in our salaries, will be the net amount we will get in hand. and then ofcourse, we will go on about buying our own place. i hope that day comes soon enough.
in the mean time i am trying to go through each and every day. waiting for the time to pass. waiting for the time when i hold my kid in my hands, for the first time. waiting for the time when i see the husband cuddle the baby close to him.
waiting to be a mother...
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